Love Your Body - Love Yourself!

...The second is this; 'love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31  

As is obvious by pink ribboned everything, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Coincidentally, last week I got a pap test, mammogram, thyroid ultrasound and bone density screening.

What does this have to do with the Bible verse above?

It's all about love.

In Mark 12:28, a teacher of the law heard Jesus debating with some other men about God and asked him which was the most important commandment. Jesus correctly answered, "...The most important one is this: 'Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."

Now focus on the verse at the top of this post - the second most important commandment: love your neighbor

as yourself.

Do you love yourself? Are we even allowed to do such a thing?

Yes! We are God's glorious handiwork and when we love ourselves, we're loving Him. If Jesus didn't mean for us to love ourselves, he would have put a period at the end of neighbor.

Part of loving ourselves means we care for the bodies God gave us.

We don't just make important appointments for our elderly parents and children, we treat ourselves with the same level of care.

So let me ask you this question:

How long has it been since you've had a mammogram?

      How about a pap test?

          What about a bone density screening or (ugh) a colonoscopy?

How about in honor of Breast Cancer awareness month, we commit to making these dreaded appointments and then show some sisterly love by challenging a girlfriend to do the same?

Ready? Go!

Book of Love

Not to us, Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.
                                                                                                         Psalm 115:1

My grandpa Haines was a great man. By that, I don't mean he was a man of stature, or that he held a position of national importance. He was a great man because he loved his people. He loved his parents and helped care for them in their old age, and he loved his children and grandchildren. He died several years ago. As the Old Testament would say - he is resting with his ancestors.

Recently, my mom gave me some family papers she'd been saving. I, like my ancestors before me, am a archiver. We collect family letters, histories and stories. In the box of papers was a letter written to me by my grandfather in 1984, when I was 16-years old. It starts out like this...

"Dear Erika:

     Some day I'm going to die. (Do I have your attention?) No, don't get excited; I don't mean this year or in 5 years or anything. But some time. So what else is new? Everybody dies sooner or later.
     And what does this have to do with you right now? It's just that every so often I think about dying, and then there is this: Because I love you very much for being my granddaughter and for being the very fine person you are, I want to leave you with something. There's no way of telling what can be left in the way of money, whether a fair amount or a mere pittance. And anyway, money is a thing that's here today and gone tomorrow. Personal possessions? Perhaps some day you might like some little thing as a keepsake, but other than something to glance at on rare occasions it would have little value."

He goes on to say that he wanted to leave me something that lasts. For him, that meant words of advice and wisdom. The letter is three pages long and is very dear to me. My grandfather was a wise man. For most of my life, I thought he was just my nice old grandpa, but now, I can now see, how much he really loved me.

It's the same way with the Bible. For many people, it's just an ancient book filled with outdated, irrelevant words.
                         
                                                                    But it's so much more.

                                   The Bible is God's book of love for us.

In His kindness and faithfulness, He's handed down all the world's wisdom, history and stories. In Jesus, He's given us much more. He's given us his spirit that dwells in our hearts so that we'll have him for eternity.

Do you see God's word as a stale, leftover remnant of antiquity or a living testimony of his mercy and faithfulness?

Tomorrow, I'll post about some ways to make reading this book of love easier, but in the meantime, I'll leave you with this advice from Grandpa Haines.

"As you go through life, have a good time doing it. Wherever you see a chance for clean, honest fun, go after it. Another popular way of saying it is this: As you pass by, don't forget to smell the roses."

Weird Word Wednesday - # 2 (Suffering)

Well of all things, it turns out that I must have been writing the last post about temptation by the enemy for myself.

A few short hours after I wrote it, I experienced a great trial. I can't be specific because its not just my story, but it's bad. As I look back on it now, in the light of day and through the filter of Christ, I can see that I found my way out.

I choose to trust in Jesus' strength and power -

Even though I am weak and weary, He is not.

I thought about the temptations I was presented with during the crisis.
The temptation to...

    be angry with God about an unanswered prayer for safety.
 
          sin against someone I love with defeating and insensitive words.

               be rude and surly to people who were trying to help me.

                    cast judgement on something I don't fully understand.

                         cease praying.

                             turn my back on God.

                                  wallow in fear and defeat.

                                       keep my "mouth" shut and not write about it.

Yes, all those things are strong temptations, but I'll take Paul's advice and resist the enemy.

How we resist is wrapped up in our Weird Word for the day:

                            pathema = means suffering, affliction, misfortune.

God allows this type of suffering for a purpose and I'd be willing to say that almost always He's the only one who knows why. This is what the New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology says about it:

"Christ's vicarious suffering does not mean for his followers, however, deliverance from earthly suffering but deliverance for earthly suffering. He has suffered and been tempted as we are (Heb 2:18), yet he was without sin; indeed, since Christ has shared in all his people's experiences, he is able as the exalted one to "sympathize with their weaknesses". His suffering was a test that he was called on to undergo and in which he learned obedience (5:8). Having been tested by suffering, he is our pattern and example (1 Peter 2:21). His suffering requires us as his followers to walk a similar path (Heb 13:12-13; 1 Peter 2:21).       New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology, Verlyn D. Verbrugge

We maintain our hope and trust in God by faithfully enduring the hardship of suffering.

      I pray The Lord will give you strength in your suffering.

                                                                                        He is faithful and wonderful.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Friendless Friday

Ordinarily today would be Follow-Up Friday, but since I've nothing to follow up on, I'll do a different kind of post.

This morning, I have one less friend and I'm ok with that. At first I typed, "I'm happy about that" but that's a lie. Then I started to type, "I'm sad about that." but that's a lie too, so I'll settle for ok. I'm ok that I've separated myself from this "friend." To be more specific, last night I unfriended her from Facebook and from my life.

It felt weird.

Have you ever tried to love somebody who's kind of unlovable? A prickly person, but you try anyway, just hoping you'll make some kind of connection? That's the way I feel about her. I've honestly tried, but about every four months or so, a post will come through on my Facebook page and my blood starts to boil.

I actually begin to heat up and my heart starts pounding in my chest. These posts are slanderous toward one of my family members. Because of him, I've tried to love her but yesterday, the Lord spoke into my heart. He said:

"For out of the heart come evil thoughts. Her mouth and the platform she uses to slander comes from the overflow of her heart.

I looked up the verse today in my study time. Jesus was speaking to his disciples about inner purity. He was explaining that it's not what we eat that make us dirty and corrupt. "But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts - murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them." Matt 15:18-20

So I clicked on the button next to her name. Duh-lete.

It doesn't feel weird now, it feels good. Now I can pray for my loved one without being tempted to take another person's anger into my spirit.

What about you? Is there a toxic person you need to delete from your life?

Mother Love

Happy Mother's Day for those of you practicing the art of mothering! Mothering is a daunting task and to do it well requires more love and commitment than we sometimes feel we have. It takes a physical and emotional toll that's unexplainable to the inexperienced.

Sometimes you can "mother" someone who's not actually your child. Sometimes friends, strangers, and children of all ages can become your spiritual children.

My husband had back surgery yesterday so I'll be mothering him for the next three weeks. I'll help him get out of bed, get dressed, tie his shoes, nag him and then do all the chores and tasks he usually does.

If he's not stubborn, his back will heal nicely and if he is, well...

Jesus knows what a frustrated mother feels like.We see the depth of his love for the misguided and rebellious children of Jerusalem.

Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.
                                                                                                                      Luke 13:34

The Apostle Paul illustrates a mother's love and sacrifice when he wrote, Instead, we were like young children among you. Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.  
                 1 Thess 2:7-8

God loves, gathers, shares, shepherds, heals, protects and cares for us right now. He is our ultimate parent.

My prayer for all of us is that we feel this love and provision daily, and delight ourselves in the presence of our Heavenly Father.

             May you be blessed with peace in Christ,
                                                                                                     Erika

Love Your Enemies

Talk about expecting surprises! In my last post, I told you I'd prayed for hospitality opportunities. God is so good and so faithful that he answered that prayer again. He's given me two opportunities in three days. However, this time is a little different.

This time he's given me the opportunity to host an enemy. That's right, my challenge today is to love an enemy.

But to you who are listening I say, "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:27 (emphasis mine)

Almost a year ago, my daughter, Dania, experienced a cyber-attack. She was maligned by hundreds of people via the internet - some of them were people she didn't even know. Some of them were her friends, or so she thought. They texted her, cursed her and told her how worthless she was - and that she should just kill herself. These people passed her phone number around for kicks.

She was so hurt by it, that she sank into a life threatening depression. She required hospitalization,  intensive counseling, and a new phone number. While in recovery, one of the friends she'd managed to keep, turned on her and sent a text calling her a crazy b*#%h and told her (once again) to kill herself.

My daughter has experienced more betrayal in her short 16-years than most people experience in a lifetime. We talked about forgiving this girl, and understanding where she was mentally when she did it. The friend, we'll call her "Kim," apologized and expressed remorse. Dania had a very hard time accepting her apology. Then, Kim started a pattern of harassment that continued for weeks. She even sent texts to my phone! I was grateful to be rid of her and grateful that though Dania learned to forgive, this child wouldn't be in her life anymore.

So imagine my surprise, when Kim showed up in my kitchen the other night.

Dania asked if Kim could spend the night, and because she has several friends with that same name, I said, "Sure!"

Now she's here. She's been here for two days and I'm trying my best to see her through Jesus' eyes. I'm not going to lie...it's difficult. I'm filled with many emotions, and my daughter (I can feel it) is watching me.

Teenagers can spot a hypocrite a mile away.

And God is the master at giving us the opportunity to practice what we preach. I'll let you know how it goes.

Father Knows Best

When I was growing up, Father Knows Best, was one of my favorite TV shows. I also loved Gilligan's Island, Bewitched and The Brady Bunch, but there was something special about Father Knows Best. The dad, played by Robert Young, was wise and understanding and they were all so well groomed!

Oddly enough, I can still remember the timbre of the announcer's voice at the beginning of the show. What a happy family they portrayed. The two girls' nicknames were "princess" and "kitten." Personally, I wanted to be princess because I thought Kitten was a little goofy looking.

On the show's website, I learned that it's purpose was to change the image of the bumbling, inept husbands and fathers portrayed in the TV shows of the 1950's. It was supposed to influence families and represent the new ideal of what the American family could be. The sponsor of the show...

Guess what brand I started smoking as a teenager?

I can see now that this program and others like it, influenced me to such a degree that it changed my behavior and gave me an example of what a father should be like. I'm not disregarding my own father at all, I adored him. But he wasn't like Robert Young.

2012 has been without a doubt, the most difficult year of my life. If you know me well, then you know I analyze almost everything. It's part of the way I'm wired and as I think about the various influences in my life, I can see a pattern. I sometimes strive for an ideal that's false or unrealistic, and as a result, I end up questioning God.

Incidentally, this was the God of my childhood:

So, although this year was extremely difficult and filled with suffering, I am grateful. The One, true God has been reshaping me. He's changing the way I think and behave. He's been carving away - cutting out the things in me that do not resemble His son. Only one word describes this process...

Ouch!

And yet, I'm still grateful and will continue to submit myself to his steady and gentle hand. This Father, really does know best.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined - and everyone undergoes discipline - then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Hebrews 12:7-8

The gift of words

Years ago, my kids attended a Montessori school that had a gentle and loving environment. Each month they held a small celebration for all the children having birthdays. Parents were invited to visit, bring food to share, and we all had an opportunity to present the gift of words to the birthday children.

One child at a time would sit in the middle of a circle, surrounded by parents and peers, and anyone who felt led, would say kind words.

I'll never forget my daughter's five-year old celebration because her teacher, Kathy, gave me a gift of words. I can't remember what the kids said, but she said, "Dania has a quiet integrity." I'd been worried about Dania. She was shy, behind in reading and apprehensive about trying new things, but Kathy's words encouraged me that day. She made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

I'm convinced mothering is one of the most challenging tasks on Earth. It's hard to maintain balance and a healthy perspective when trials and trouble threaten to tear down all the good things you've built into your kids. But lately, I've noticed something. As I begin to question my mothering ability, and try to squash the feelings of failure that frequently arise, I'm being encouraged.

It happened a few weeks ago on the beach. A person I barely know came up to me and said, "I just wanted to say that I admire how tight you and Sam are. It reminds me of me and my mom. I saw you walking home together from school the other day and I bet you walked all the way there and back. You're a good mom." I was delighted by this man's compliment because the relationship he has with his mom is something I've noticed and admired.

Then, the other day when I went to write down the weekly chores on the white board in my kitchen, I saw this note from Kennedi, a teenager who hangs out with Dania.

Yesterday, as I was driving Dania's friend Britt, home, she said, "Britt told me she wants to be just like you."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She said, 'I want to have exactly what your mom has. I want to get married, have a nice home and be a stay at home mom and raise my kids.'" This young woman is 18-years old and when I came back, I noticed something else had been added to my white board.

I now know the encouragement isn't just coming from people, it's coming from God. Look at what this passage of scripture says:

"But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus."   2 Corinthians 7:6

Is God encouraging you in a way you may not have realized? Has he sent someone to be a comfort to you in a time of need? Keep your eyes and ears open this week and you just may get a gift of words sent directly from heaven.

Dear God, thank you for caring about our deepest struggles and for meeting our every need. Help us encourage each other and thank you for never leaving or forsaking us in our troubles. Amen.

Love Gifts

Every Friday night, my son hangs out with his buddies at a local gymnastics studio for kid's night out. A couple of weeks ago when I picked him up, he had a weird look on his face. One of those, "I'm trying not to smile" faces that doesn't quite work.

 When we were walking out, he looked around carefully to make sure no one was listening and said, "Mom, I'm pretty sure I have a girlfriend." This was news to me because he's nine years old and not allowed to date. Not that he knows that because I never thought I'd have to explain that to a nine year old. Anyway, just for fun I played  along.

"Oh yeah? You think you have a girlfriend? Not sure?"

"I mean, yes I do. She said, "yes."

"She said, "yes" to what?"

"She said, yes we're dating."

"You asked her out on a date?"

He rolled his eyes. "No mom! No one asks. Her friend asked."

"Her friend asked if you wanted to date her?"

He rolled his eyes again.

"Yes. That's how it works."

"Oh. Does she go to school with you?"

"No. I've never met her. I don't know what school she goes to."

"You don't? Well, how do you know her? What's her last name?"

"I don't know. We didn't actually talk. All I know is I have to come back next Friday night to see her again. And I have to bring her a present."

"What?! You don't need to bring her a present!"

"Yes, I do. It's our one week anniversary. I need to get her something special."

At that point, I must admit to being impressed. I've no idea how a girl could be so powerful, but I couldn't convince him that he didn't need to get her a gift. He wanted to buy her a piece of jewelry, but thankfully he listened to reason and we discussed something inexpensive... just in case he was somehow mistaken.

The next day we took a walk on the beach and he found a shell with a hole so he could make a necklace. He didn't think it was special enough, so when we got home he painstakingly colored it. Then he selected a ribbon. That wasn't special enough, so he found a fancy box (swiped actually from his sister's room) and packaged it nicely.

Then he hid it under the couch and made me promise that I wouldn't tell his dad. I didn't because I love to be the keeper of sweet secrets:)

When Friday rolled around, he collected the box and we discussed how he'd react if she rejected his gift. "No biggie," He assured me. I admit, even though it was just a shell, I prayed she wouldn't crush his spirit. He walked nervously into the studio with his hand on his bulging pocket and a shine in his eyes.

When I picked him up, he didn't even give me a hint about what happened, so I finally asked.

"So, did she like it?"

"Oh yeah, she loved it. She put it on right away."

"Really? She wasn't upset that it was just a shell? What did she say when you gave it to her?"

"She said, 'It's the passion that counts!'"

I am in big trouble.

"We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Faithless Unbeliever

Infidel

Does that word conjure up any images for you? It does for me, and they're scary. I wondered why that was. How could a simple seven-letter word make me bristle with fear?

After all, I don't even know what an infidel looks like.

Later that night, as I took off my makeup in front of the mirror, the eyes of the infidel looked back at me.

Earlier that morning, I was chasing scripture around in the Bible, cross referencing one verse with another and came to 1 Timothy 5, which is Paul's advice to Timothy regarding widows, elders and slaves. In fact, the subtitle in my Bible (Life Application Study Bible, NIV) says, "Instructions for leaders."

So, I'm reading about how Paul directs Timothy to deal with these differing groups of people and this scripture jumps out at me:

"If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."   1 Tim 5:8

That word "unbeliever" is rendered "infidel" in the KJV and is used only twice; the other instance is 2 Corinthians 6:15. It's also linked to the word "faithless."

The problem is that there are widows in the community who aren't being cared for. Paul tells Timothy to give help to those that actually are in need, but if she has family of some kind, her care is to be provided for by them. "But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God." (emphasis mine)

I thought of my own elderly grandmothers, both sick and suffering with various ailments. They are, thank God, being cared for by their children right now, but if they weren't, would I be willing to step in? I live far away. What could I do? What would I do? Am I providing now? And what does providing mean anyway?

I send cards and letters and make phone calls and try to visit when I can but...

In order to help myself answer the question, I went to my concordance and looked up some key words:

Provide - Greek word: proneo - to provide for, care for, to consider, have regard for.

Denied - Greek word: arneomai - to deny, disown, renounce, repudiate

Worse - Greek word: cheiron - worse, more severe than.

Unbeliever - Greek word: apistos - lacking in trust, outsider, one who does not believe the Gospel.

If immediate family goes all the way down the line to the grandparents, I've got some repenting and preparing to do. If my husband and I are responsible for training our children to be Godly, I've got much training to do.

If you're married like I am, this extends to our in-laws and our family responsibility is even greater.

Yikes! Now I know why I felt fear.

Caring for our family members is so important to God that while hanging on the cross, Jesus entrusted John with the task, and he took her into his own home. (John 19:25-28)

Thank you God, for always equipping us to live out our lives of faith. May we be like Jesus in our love and provision for our families and be called faithful by you. Amen.

Perspective

Have you ever had your perspective on something you think you know about, radically changed by God?

This is happening to me. For a couple of years, I've felt God prompting me to study hospitality. Let me say, that I know hospitality is a spiritual gift and it's one of those I don't have.

At all. 

Because I don't have it, and didn't really want to (truthfully). I've delayed obedience to God in the matter of study.

Don't be mistaken: Delayed obedience is disobedience.

Thankfully, He's gentle and filled with mercy and by the end of last year, I couldn't stand it any longer, so I went online and got a study from Intervarsity Press. This little study has changed my entire perspective of hospitality and what it truly means.

It's significantly altered my world view of what it means to have the compassion of Christ. It's changed the way I'll operate and minister to others in the future. In fact, I'm studying another book on it now in order to strengthen myself in the principles of this gift.

I wish I'd done it sooner (duh).

I urge you...if God's laid an idea, theme or spiritual gift on your heart, don't delay your obedience. Study it diligently and you'll be blessed by the time and effort you give to it.

A man’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? Proverbs 20:24

Planning Love

Okay, so if you haven't figured it out by now, my recent posts have been about planning and goal setting for 2012, with God in mind.

Actually, what we need to do is plan with the mind of God.

What I mean by this is a radical type of planning. What if we took each of our goals for the areas of our lives, be they relational, professional, etc. and pushed them through the filter of love?

In Matthew 22:36-40, the Pharisees approached Jesus (planning to trick him), and asked him this question:

"Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?"
Jesus replied, '"You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."

Planning and goal setting begins in the heart and mind. We desire to achieve something, change something or pursue a dream based on what's in our hearts and minds. What if before we began, we asked ourselves these two questions:

1.  Is this goal or thing I want to do an expression of love for God and others?
2.  What steps are needed to put my ALL (heart, mind and soul) into this?

I've never planned like this before, but one word's going through my head right now....sacrifice.

I'm going to sacrifice something (within myself) if my filter is based on loving God and others. Let me show you roughly, what it will look like in one specific area of my life. One of my goals for 2012 is to become a published writer.

I know this is what God's created me to do, and we've been working toward it together for a long time... but I've been procrastinating.

In order for me to achieve this goal, I'm going to have to sacrifice my: fear, feelings of incompetence, tendency toward laziness, and every other excuse popping into my mind right now. I'll also have to shift some priorities, change some relationships and restructure my schedule. My next step, which I'll do within the next 36 hours, is to create an action plan.

Whew, that's a lot of freaking work! No wonder I make excuses and say "I'll do it later." I'm not letting another year and all its troubles and distractions prevent me from God's calling.

What's He calling you to do? Got a plan? Afraid of where He might lead you?

Let's try it together anyway!