Every day is a blessing from God

By Erika Rizkallah (reposted from www.erikarizkallah.com)

"Every day I feel is a blessing from God. And I consider it a new beginning. Yeah, everything is beautiful." Prince

2015 was a hard year for me - filled with physical, mental and emotional challenges. I can't remember how it began but it's fresh enough to remember how it ended.

November and December was like a slow moving hurricane whirling off the coast toward a direct hit on my home.

Last year my husband and I decided it was time to renovate our highly outdated house. We've been wanting to remodel certain areas; get rid of the mirrored backsplash in the kitchen, replace broken appliances and get rid of the gold fixtures in the guest bathroom.

But you know how those things go. Once you decide to change certain  areas, you may as well go big and do it right. So what started out as a simple kitchen/bathroom remodel turned into a full scale renovation of our middle and upper levels.

There were many disagreements between us along the way. Multiple meetings with the contractor and interior designer that came with the job. And packing up EVERYTHING. This was no easy feat for someone suffering from chronic pain, but I did it (for the most part). In order to give the contractor a good start we decided to take a trip so we left the country for two weeks and spent time visiting family in Dubai.

And we came back from this life-changing vacation to this . . .

Just like a man . . . the tv stays

Goodbye kitchen

My favorite room in the house - our heritage room

So that's where I've "been" - metaphorically and physically speaking - and I have so many new things to share with you in 2016.

I've resolved that this year will be different - I'm saying goodbye to the physical, mental and emotional challenges of last year. And even though I'm living in a literal mess, I agree with Prince's assessment that each day is a blessing from God and yeah, everything is beautiful.

No Pain No Gain

By Erika Rizkallah

Last week, I lived out a ten year old dream of mine; I went hiking in Sedona, Arizona. I started hiking as a teenager and never stopped. Of course back then, when I went on a "hike with friends" it was usually to hang out and smoke in the woods.

I stopped smoking long ago, but never lost my love of nature. The more outdoor time I get, the better I feel inside.

Usually, the last thing we want to do when we live with chronic pain is exercise. Sometimes it hurts just thinking about it.

But it's what we need most.

                                                          All of my children ran ahead except for "the good one" - she stayed with me.

I prepared for this trip by buying a good pair of hiking shoes and pricey orthotics. I admit to being a little afraid I might hike myself into a flare. If you look in the upper right hand corner of the picture, you'll see the "pointy" formation we were hiking to.

I didn't realize it'd be so steep and rocky, but as I yelled out to my kids on the way up...

YOLO!

Note: A great way to embarrass your kids is to yell Yolo at the top of your lungs in an echoey canyon.

I made it to the top of the flat part of the formation - sweaty and proud of myself. The view was worth it.

My kids however, couldn't wait to get to the pointy top part so they ran ahead of me (again). It would have been a beautiful family moment if it weren't for me yelling at them to all come down. Of course they said,

                                                                 "YOLO mom. YOLO!"


I still made them come down. BTW - My son is the only one wearing an honest expression - girls are always posing.

We may have to live with chronic pain but we don't have to let it kill our joy or keep us from living the full life God wants us to live.

Click the link to read about the benefits of hiking and in the meantime . . . keep on following your dreams!

#Grateful

By Erika Rizkallah

What a difference a week makes! We've had sunny skies for almost a full six days and I am way less achy. I'm so grateful because I put myself on a mini-vacation before school started and I actually enjoyed myself for a sustained period.

Yesterday I spent hours in a few home stores, just pushing my cart through the aisles with about a million other Southern ladies trying to take advantage of Labor Day sales. It was funny just to listen to all the laughter and hootin' and hollering' - yes, that's actually a thing here.

The one thing I've learned since moving to the South, is that all true Southern ladies, value their families and homes. Decorating them is a favorite pastime. I get right in there with them.

Best of all, I enjoyed time with the ladies in my family on a cruise down the Cape Fear River.  I felt so blessed to be able to run errands and then relax myself on a sunset cruise.

I hope you're taking time out to enjoy these last few days of summer!

Blame it on the rain: chronic pain and the weather

By Erika Rizkallah

I don't know about you, but my chronic pain is seriously affected by the weather - particularly by humidity or precipitation.

In short, the rain brings pain.

                                                                                 Photo courtesy of Dania Rizkallah

Unfortunately there's not a whole lot I can do but keep my eyes on the sky and prepare for a time of self care. I live in an area known as Hurricane Alley and summer storms are a regular part of life. Drenching rain and muggy mornings are the norm, but the barometric pressure's been wreaking havoc on so many people.

Does weather affect you?

       Have you been plagued with migraines?

Are you taking care of yourself?

Self-care is not the same thing as being self-centered. It's about knowing your limits and making the right choices for your body and spirit. There's nothing worse than being at the end of your rope and snapping at someone you love (trust me, I know.)

My go to items for self-care are: Pain meds, heating pads and a great book to divert my focus.

Here's a link to a handy tool that may help you stay mindful of atmospheric pressure. It's a map of aches and pains and if you explore it, you might also find the "frizz forecast" - a map for your hair!

Do you have any tools that you could share with us? Do tell!

Take your mind off your pain

By Erika Rizkallah

One of the hardest things about living with chronic pain, is learning how to take your mind off of it.

When my doctor put me in limbo, he suggested I use tools like mindfulness practice, meditation and biofeedback. I already use those things from time to time so I dutifully nodded my head and picked up my purse.
                                                      Erika had left the building.

You see, when I started to get the gist of his sage wisdom, the whimsical wheels in my head took me directly to the craft store.
                                                      The craft store you ask?

Why yes, the craft store. You see, I've already found a thing that takes my focus off my pain for hours at a time.
                                               Beads! Glorious beads!

I'm enraptured by them, and as I admitted to my writing group the other day, they're also luring me away from my work. So I cleared out a space for them in my closet. Sigh.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?

I had my hands full and was wondering what I should blog about today when all of a sudden... I tripped.

Beads flew everywhere. My beads - my glorious, organized beads were trapped in the fibers of my plush carpet.

You know what else can take your mind off of pain for awhile?

Sorting.

But I didn't. I resisted the urge and thanked God for the marvelous blog topic and beautiful picture for today.

Tell me about you: Do you have a hobby or distraction that helps take your mind off of pain?

Blessings In Disguise

By Erika Rizkallah

I have a love-hate attitude about my chronic pain, a condition called Small Polyfiber Neuropathy. Of course I hate pain. But if I didn't have it, I wouldn't have been given a gift. One of those blessings in disguise things, if you know what I mean. 

Living an Unstuck life is all about freedom and movement. As we walk along the path of life God set out for us, we have freedom and rest for our souls. We also have movement... 

            We're walking with Him.

We're not stuck. 

However, we can be lured into that trapped/stuck lifestyle at any time. We have an adversary (Satan) who spends 100% of his time trying to kill, steal and destroy our life and everything meaningful to us.

Let's face it, we don't spend 100% of our time on anything; this gives him an advantage over us if we're not walking in the spirit.

We can be following God's plan when out of nowhere, we're hit with the rotten parts of life: confusion, crisis, strife in the home or an illness. These things come with decisions: Are we going to continue moving or are we going to let it paralyze us?

That's what happened to me when illness first struck. I didn't know what my body was doing or why - and neither did the doctors. Everything came to a screeching halt (me = screeching). But after a while, I resolved to get back on my feet and serve Him in my weakness. 

I also wanted to press on with my goals and enjoy the full life Jesus meant for me to have. 

I love to sing. I've been singing since I was four and was in choirs until high school. Then I got kicked out (long story) and stopped singing in groups. For the past three years I've been telling God I'd sing in his choir in Heaven, but several weeks ago I thought NO...I'm going to sing now! 

So I prayed for a choir I could sing with, and then...voila! I got the opportunity and joined it. Best of all, I get to sing with my daughter, Katya. 

Our choir is a mixed group of teens and adults and we traveled together to Tennessee to see three regional Broadway plays and perform a concert for a large church.

                                                       Two of our fave actors: Anna & Austin

I can't explain how joyful I felt watching people praise God from our position behind the pulpit. I now know what it means to offer myself as a living sacrifice and it was worth every ounce of pain I feel now.

                                                          Enjoying life with my daughter 
                                                                                               (I take terrible selfies)

What about you? Have you recognized any blessings in disguise from your illness?

Has your doctor put you in limbo? Being a patient takes patience

By Erika Rizkallah

Last week I followed up with my neurologist to get the final results from a three-part testing process I went through.

He called me into his office to let me know that my diagnosis is Small Polyfiber Neuropathy, which boils down to this: it hurts to have skin.

Technically it's a nerve disease in the small fibers of the body and there is no cure. Most people have it in the feet and legs but I have it all over. Most people are diabetic or overweight and can improve the pain through lifestyle change, but I'm neither diabetic nor overweight.

My case is considered idiopathic which boils down to this: They are clueless.

So my doctor put me in limbo for six months in the hope that The Mayo Clinic, The Cleveland Clinic or George Washington University would discover the cause. Obviously someone's been doing their research. The bad news for patients like me is that it takes about 10 years of research and clinical trials before any medicine can be prescribed.

So I'm in limbo. My doctor said, "Do you understand what I mean by limbo?" And I said, "yes."
Later I wondered why on earth do I understand limbo? Because it's not an actual place, it's a state of indecision. So I looked it up and it's also a theology, movie, dance and game that people play at parties.

But only young girls are successful, because older people break their backs playing this silly game. My clumsy family has never made it under the limbo stick, no matter how many times we try.

Why am I putting the name of my disease out there? It's been discovered that women with my condition and those that suffer from "pins and needles" or "ants running up arms and legs" often get diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

At any rate, the sensations ARE NOT NORMAL, so if you suffer from them, get to the doctor and see if they can find an underlying cause before more damage is done.

And take heart. Technological advances are making medications safer so that we can have a better quality of life.
                                                           Being a patient takes patience.

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

                                                                                                  Ecclesiastes 7:8
                         

Can you encourage your doctor?

By Erika Rizkallah

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news. Isaiah 52:7

Yesterday, I was able to bring good news to my doctor. Our conversation went something like this:

Him:   Well, hello.

Me:    Hello. How are you?

Him:   I'm doing ok, pretty good I guess.

Me:     Me too.

Him:   What? (huge smile) Really?!

Watching his reaction was fun and far different from the last time I saw him. At my last appointment, he was discouraged by difficult patients and vented a bit. He told me that earlier in the day, he almost quit. Pain management is a tough business and patients can often be depressed and angry. Quite often, anger and blame is directed toward him.

I don't know what I'd do if he quit; he's a fantastic doctor doing a wonderful job helping me manage my pain.

Yesterday was filled with good news for him. It felt awesome for me too - to be able to say, "I feel good."

Of course I still have pain, but when I review the last four weeks I'm more encouraged than discouraged. I spent time in my garden and took great care of my children. I prepared for Hurricane Arthur, maintained my home (with help) and managed to host several families who were vacationing at my house. One night, I even stayed out late at our local carnival and watched the fireworks. It was so different from last July, thank God!

I'd like to pray for us: Heavenly Father, thank you for creating science and medicine. Thank you for placing the call of healing on our doctors. We lift them up to you lord: the surgeons, physicians, P.A.s, nurses and technicians that work together with you for our good. Bless and encourage them as they care for us and deal with the stress of their profession. Amen.

As you go to your appointments this month, is there a doctor, nurse or health care professional you can encourage?
                                                                               I'll be praying for you! ~ Erika

Cherishing Joy Each Day

Dear Friends,

Please excuse my long absence. As you may know from my last post, I'm in the midst of a dry season and seemingly endless computer problems. Medication adjustments make me feel wonky and sitting down to blog is difficult. On more than one occasion I've fallen asleep while typing - actually that's kind of funny. What's not funny is my inability to latch on to a thought before it disappears. However, I'm learning to let go and...

 I cherish the joy in the moments of each day. 

On Sundays I usually post a God story, but my brain's so foggy, it wouldn't benefit you. Instead, I hope you'll enjoy one of my favorite pictures from the Holy Sepulchre Church in Jerusalem. This is an enormous mosaic of tiny tiles and it's an astounding piece of art.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.

Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.

                         Psalm 25:16-18

A prayer: Heavenly Father, we know you are good upon good and your love never fails us. Teach us your ways Lord, give us strength to endure and bless our weakened bodies. We know your power is made perfect in weakness. We love you and we praise you in Jesus' name. Amen.

What season are you in?

By Erika Rizkallah

On Sundays, this space is reserved for God stories. As one of the redeemed, I'd like to share just some of the many things he's done in my life. I hope you'll be encouraged by them!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story - those he redeemed from the hand of the foe. Psalm 107:1-2

Have you ever felt like you're in a spiritual desert? Like you're not hearing or seeing God? I have . . . more times than I can count.

In these times, the most useful thing we can do, is search for the root cause. Just as when we're feeling physically ill, we naturally try to figure out what caused it:

   Could it be food poisoning?

   Was it that snotty baby we held in children's church? (God loves snotty babies).

    Am I allergic to something (or someone)?

I recently had this experience; I was as dry as the desert - not hearing from God at all, which is unusual.

I began looking for the root cause, asking him in prayer and receiving no answer. Until  I noticed something . . .

Lilies began appearing in my front yard. I didn't plant them and so I was surprised when they began to blooming in early spring. The lily is a spiritually significant flower for me because of this favorite Bible verse:

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I (Jesus) tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!" Luke 12:27, 28

These verses and the ones before them, are about God's care and provision for his children. We're not to worry about meeting our own physical needs. Isn't that liberating?

I do have to consider the lilies and I don't have to worry about myself. Maybe this is my season of seeing God at work.

What season do you find yourself in?

3 Tips for traveling with chronic pain

By Erika Rizkallah

I just came back from five wonderful days at the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writer's Conference aka BRMCWC. Writers from as far away as Japan came to learn from gifted authors and writing teachers.

Traveling with chronic pain can be tricky, but the alternative was staying at home and missing out on something valuable to me.

                                     Me and my writing buddies, Angie & Sondra

I chose to go and enjoy myself and I thought I'd do a quick post on traveling. I hope this especially helps during the summer season, when we tend to travel more frequently.

Tip # 1 - Know your body:

The first thing we need to do is know our body and this can be a slow process. Keeping a journal and paying attention to the particular rhythms and nuances is helpful. God created each one of us uniquely and traveling can affect us negatively. We've got to know how we respond to different altitudes, how long we can sit or stand without discomfort and how much luggage we can lug.

Tip # 2 - Cope ahead:

The truth is that we are limited. Acknowledging this fact is the first step to coping effectively. Before I left on my trip I knew I'd have to skip some classes and build in rest and nap time. We were in the mountains and had lots of uphill walking on campus, so I made sure I wore my tennis shoes and took breaks. I also knew I'd sometimes have to say, "no" to my traveling companions or to invitations from others.

Tip # 3 - Plan recovery time:

I knew two six hour drives would wreak havoc on my back and neck, so I scheduled a massage for the day after I returned. Even though I brought a heating pad with me, it was more rigorous than I remembered. I'll just chalk that up to aging and make a note of it for next time. Plenty of naps are on my schedule for the days ahead.

It's important for us to have fun and live out our dreams. It may take longer, but that's ok as long as we keep moving forward!
             
Do you have any travel tips you can share? If so, we'd love to hear them.

                                               Happy Memorial Day!

Can you laugh at yourself?

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." E.E. Cummings

Yesterday was a funny day, in more ways than one. Sometimes my brain gets a little wonky and I forget things. It happens so often these days that I've learned to laugh at myself. The other option is to feel stupid and beat myself up emotionally, but self-abuse is not my thing.

                                                                     So I laugh.

As you may know, I'm at a writer's conference. Yesterday was my big day for appointments and I had meetings with two agents and an editor. This is a big deal in the conference world, and one of the main benefits of going. I made sure I had everything I needed and looked my best because you never get a second chance to make a good first impression right?

I was walking down a big hill to breakfast with my friend Andy when she made a comment about how comfortable her shoes were. That got me thinking about how comfortable my shoes were so I looked down . . .

and realized I was wearing my house slippers, not the cute little flats I'd set out. Andy and I laughed so hard that I had to ask her to stop. Otherwise, I'd pee my pants - bladder control is another symptom this nasty disease affects.

Later that day, I went to two appointments and forgot the third. This means I totally blew off an editor and I'll probably never be able to write for her publication.

                                                                  All I can do is laugh.

Can you laugh at yourself?

Laughter can be healing and contagious. I try to find at least one video a day that makes me chuckle, but the best ones cause belly aches and incontinence.

According to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, surgeons used humor to distract patients from pain as early as the 13th century. More recently, studies have revealed that laughter reduces pain, decreases stress related hormones and helps boost the immune system.

How about you? Do you have ways to distract yourself from pain or create laughter?

The God Who Sees Us

By Erika Rizkallah

...You are the God who sees me,  for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." Genesis 16:13

Do you ever feel like God's forgotten about you or afflicted you?

I have to admit that sometimes I do. When I wake up stiff, sore and utterly unrested, I groan and whine, "Why?"

Today was one of those mornings. I'm in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains attending a Christian writer's conference. The six hour drive was exhausting, even though my friend, Andy, drove me.
             
                        Now, as I write, it feels like I'm on fire, even though it's cold here.

Fire. In the Old Testament, God is often represented by fire, but really . . . I don't want to feel like the fire is on me.

In the scripture above, the "she" is Hagar. Hagar is the Egyptian maidservant of Sarai, the wife of Abram.  Sarai desperately wanted a family but she couldn't conceive. In those times, women were the chief family builders. Sarai was old and God hadn't given her any children, so she decided to build her family through Hagar. She gave Hagar to Abram as his new wife and told him to sleep with her. Abram doesn't argue (although he should have) and Hagar gets pregnant, and a little haughty.

Now, Sarai doesn't like this, so she blames Abram, complains to him and then physically abuses Hagar.
                                                     Poor Hagar.

She didn't ask to be in that terrible situation. She didn't ask to be a slave, pushed into a sexual union or be physically abused, so she ran away, into the desert. That's where God's angel finds her and speaks to her.
                                                     He says, "...the Lord has heard of your misery." (v.11)

Hagar responds, "You are the God who sees me. I have now seen the One who sees me."

It does us no good to question God and ask "Why?" He has a plan and the why may never be known to us on this side of Heaven. The one thing we can be sure of is that He's heard of our misery and He'll love us through it.

 I'm praying for us today. God had big plans for Hagar and he's got big plans for us too!

Fight the black & white: How to change dangerous thought patterns

By Erika Rizkallah

Red is the universal color of danger but among the suffering, black and white can be dangerous as well.

Don't get me wrong. I love black and white - on clothing, accessories and especially photography. Some of my favorite patterns are black and white . . .

                                                                   Zebra - oh so chic!

                                                     Houndstooth - so nice for purses and jackets.

But black and white doesn't pair well with our psyche or thought life. This thinking pattern can drag us down into the miry pits of despair and hopelessness. Once we've fallen into that trap, it can take years of retraining or therapy to get us out.

And trust me, the enemy of our souls is waiting to trap us.

How do we know if we're in danger? Fortunately for us, B & W thinking comes with its own language.
                            Look for the words: Always, Never, & Should

Some examples of black and white thinking are:

I'll always be sick.
I'll never be able to dance again.
I should get out of bed and clean the house.

Life is a complex mix of colors and there are many shades of gray. Embrace the gray!

Making declarative statements is a part of American culture. Instead, we can train ourselves out of this habit. We can say things like:

                                          Today I'll make the healthiest choices for me.
                                          I hope to dance again one day.
                                          I'll rest now, and work around the house tomorrow.

Whatever you do, fight against the tendency to despair. Don't let the enemy gain any ground.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

What B & W words can you remove today?
     

Drug # 3 - Looking for drugs to ease Fibromyalgia pain?

For me, one of the worst Fibro symptoms is the muscle spasms. Mine feels like a monster's rhythmically squeezing bony fingers into my back, ribs and stomach. It's the one thing that makes me feel like I'm going crazy.

Have you ever felt that way? Like you could go crazy from pain?

That's when I bring out the big guns.  Not actual guns - I'm talking about Cyclobenzaprine. Also known as Flexeril. The sunny little pills and my heating pad are the only things that bring relief when that monster starts squeezing.

I need to assure you that I'm not a big pill lover. On the contrary, I generally avoid drugs when possible. But my pain path has covered almost every kind of food restriction and alternative therapy available.

Almost... I haven't tried acupuncture yet, but I will (and I'll take pictures.)

On my trip to Israel, I took a pit stop at The Dead Sea, which is the lowest point on earth. It has a high salt content and is famous for its mud, because people claim it has healing properties for arthritis and other ailments. I don't know about that, but I will say it's tons of fun to sit in a slippery mud hole with 20 non-English speaking people.

The sea is so salty that nothing lives in it and the water can blind you if it gets in your eyes. Also, once you get in chest high water or pick your feet up, you start to float. It's an amazing sensation!

So now, I've bathed in healing waters and touched Jesus' burial stone. Those are two very alternative treatments don't you think?

If you're looking for alternatives, here's a great post by Healthline.

While I wait for healing, I'll keep writing, trying new things and taking my drugs. Life's too awesome to be miserable!
                               
                                        Now that I've shared, tell me what works for you?