Friday Follow Ups # 1 - April

My good friend, Leslie, is one of my greatest encouragers and always reminds me (in a sweet way) to follow up on my posts. So, in her honor I'm creating Friday Follow Ups.

In February, I wrote about a theft in our home and how I felt when I learned our daughter's friends were the culprits. You can read that post here: http://erikaunstuck.blogspot.com/2013/02/betrayal.html

I clearly heard the voice of God tell me to extend mercy to these boys and it was very difficult. 

Mercy. These guys were already boasting to their friends on social media. They were talking about it to Dania. To them, it was a joke. But God was clear to me...mercy.

Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:36

We didn't want them marked as felons forever, but we did want them to experience some sort of consequence. We contacted the detective working the case and asked him if we could give the boys community service. 

He said it was an option, and met with us for the final decision so he could close out the case. We told him exactly how we felt, that we wanted to extend mercy, but would require the boys do 200 hours of community service...well three of them got 200 hours and the one boy who didn't respond to the police got double. 

He said, "Is that your final decision?" 

After we assured him that it was, he said. "I'm glad you went this route. You chose a lesson these boys will remember forever and probably have saved them from a life of crime. If it had gone to court, it would have been reduced to a misdemeanor and they would have gotten less than 30 hours. I've seen it over and over again and because it's so easy to get off, the kids continue in criminal activity."

He went on to say that he worked with local boys who got in trouble and in order to help them get on a right path, he'd created a type of "scared straight" program. Our thieves were going to be entered into that program and would do all of their work in and around the police station. The police would keep an eye on them, get to know them and mentor them until they've done their service. Of the 15 boys who've gone through this program, eleven have become productive citizens.

I'm stunned by God's goodness and how in spite of the loss, we all gained something.

 

My next Follow Up Friday topic will be easy: Kim came back and is staying for the weekend. Please pray she sees and feels Jesus in our home! 

Betrayal

Here's my story about how I got stuck.

A few months ago, we got a call from our banker. She told us that someone had tried to cash some checks from one of our accounts. The teller was suspicious and placed a hold on the check and told the people the money would be available in a few days.

One of the checks was made payable to one of her "friends" and the other, to someone else she didn't know. To make matters worse, they'd forged her name on them. We were shocked. She was furious. This boy, the one she did know, (we'll call him "Bob") isn't the smartest tool in the shed:

   1.  The checks were for $ 5,000.00 each (that's a felony).

   2.  They used their own names and put "school" in the memo.

   3.  They were for an old and unused account.

We felt terrible for her, but she didn't feel bad for Bob at all, because he was a jerk. However, she felt terrible for his brother because he was a good guy, and he'd feel terrible when his brother went to jail.

We had a long waiting process because the bank needed her to positively identify them through a photograph while committing the crime. Meanwhile, there were lots of trips to the police department and Dania had to keep it a secret from everyone. We live in a small town and a lot of kids were going to be upset when the news broke. She was still talking to Bob's brother and finally the picture of the boy trying to cash the checks in the drive thru lane came in.

Bob's brother was in the front seat with him.

It was devastating for her. When the boys were arrested, the whole truth came out. There were four culprits, she knew all four, and one of them was a regular at our house. He was actually the one who'd stolen the checks and given them to Bob.

It wasn't until a few days ago that the underlying truth of how this betrayal affected me:

I'd offered gracious hospitality to this boy in all ways. I'd fed him, given him rides, prayed for him...
I also forgave him from the deepest depths of my heart, but he will never be welcome again. My daughter has lost all trust in people.

And deep in my heart, the devil took this opportunity to get to work.

My home hasn't been as open to strangers, my heartfelt trust isn't given as freely, and my love for teenagers has diminished. I also hadn't acknowledged my own anger. I'm angry that someone would deliberately hurt my child during what's been the darkest time of her life.

That's when I became aware of the damage the enemy had done. Now, I'm letting God heal and restore what'd been taken away. It's hard work, but if anyone can understand betrayal, it's Jesus.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12