Does our suffering draw us closer to Christ?

By Erika Rizkallah

This morning in my quiet time readings, I was led once again to passages in the Bible about suffering.  

Do you ever ask, "Why me?" 

I do and the plain answer is I don't know and maybe I never will. Strangely, I'm ok with that. If we spend too much time reflecting about the internal and external reasons for it, we can find ourselves in the midst of an epic pity party.

This can turn all our thoughts inward as opposed to better questions like What can I do with this Lord? How do I glorify you with it?

In the Greek language the word for suffering is pascho, which also means endure. It's a verb and is used 42 times in the New Testament. The short answer in both the Old and New Testaments is that suffering improves character.

I love how Oswald Chambers approaches the subject in the devotional My Utmost For His Highest.

He says, "How can we say, 'It could never be God's will for me to be sick'? If it was God's will to bruise His own Son (Isaiah 53:10), why shouldn't he bruise you? What shines forth and reveals God in your life is not your relative consistency to an idea of what a saint should be, but your genuine, living relationship with Jesus Christ, and your unrestrained devotion to Him whether you are well or sick."

How do you feel about that? Can you identify ways in which your suffering has improved your character or drawn you closer to Christ?

Midnight Ministry: Hearing God in the storms of life

The last few weeks were filled with ups and downs, highs and lows. 

First I had a terrible flare. It was painful to move my entire body and for some reason my right elbow was killing me. (Down)

My doctor put me on steroids to calm the flare and settle things out in my joints. Now I don't know about you, but me on steroids is not a good combination - they make me angry. So I warned my family.

There were benefits though: they gave me so much energy I (almost) reorganized the entire lower level of my house! (Up)

Then my daughter got the flu and I got it while nursing her. (Low) I was sick with fever and chills and spent the better part of the week in bed. At one point I lost an entire day - July 12th to be exact. Everything was "off" and on the third day I realized I'd forgotten to pray for myself! I'd been so focused on trying not to vomit, I didn't remember to ask God for help. So I prayed and went back to sleep.

Later that night, I heard a scream. I pulled the earplugs from my ears and turned on the light to find my husband flailing around in our bed. I tried to figure out what the heck was happening when he said, "Water! I spilled water all over us!" It turns out he'd had a dream that we were on the couch talking and he grabbed a cup of water and . . . fell asleep with it.

"Are you sure we weren't talking just now?" he asked.

"Definitely sure." I said.

"Really?!"

We both had a good laugh as I stumbled around trying to find new sheets and blankets. By then I was wide awake and couldn't fall asleep. Terrible storms with deafening thunder and lightning were shaking the house. I decided - at two o' clock in the morning - to catch up on some overdue filing, so I went into my closet (because that's where I keep my files).

While there, I had the distinct impression I was supposed to read the devotional for July 12th in Streams in the Desert. I tried to ignore it and keep filing, but the impression grew stronger so I read.

This was the scripture: He knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. (Job 23:10)

This was the first sentence: Faith grows during storms.

Everything I needed in that moment - in the storm of the flare and flu - was found in that little devotion of the day I'd lost. (High) It was about faith in God during the toughest times of life.

The last few sentences really spoke to me:

Yes, "in all these" - even during storms, when the winds are the most intense - "we are more than conquerors." You may be tempted to run from the ordeal of a fierce storm of testing, but head straight for it! God is there to meet you in the center of each trial. And He will whisper to you His secrets, which will bring you out with a radiant face and such an invincible faith that all the demons of hell will never be able to shake it. E. A. Kilbourne

Suffering friend, I believe God poured that water on my husband and me. I believe that He is indeed making us stronger through our trials, testing us so that when all is said and done we'll come forth as gold.

Now you: Has God ever ministered to you at midnight or in the middle of a life storm? Do tell! We never know how our stories of suffering can encourage someone going through the same struggle.
                                                                                                   Praying for you, Erika

5 Tips for Coping with Chronic Pain

Humans are amazingly creative; there's no end to the methods we use to cope with our struggles.

Some of us eat our way through problems. Some of us whine and complain incessantly. Some of us get angry, lash out and push away anyone who tries to help.

But none of these tactics actually works. Coping requires positive action.

So how do you cope with your chronic pain?

I'm an eternal optimist, so at first I tried to power through. I was certain that food and lack of exercise was the culprit so I changed my diet and got a trainer - one who was in the process of qualifying for the Olympics. Her method was "go big or go home" so I just about exercised myself to death.

My pain issue wasn't solved and while I'm still an optimist, I'm a realist too. The pain is here to stay.

Forever... unless God heals me.

Maybe you find yourself in a similar situation and need some new ideas. If so, I hope these tips will work for you as well as they do for me.

Tip # 1 - Trust in God

Though there's no cure for my condition and hopes for one are a long way off, my biggest comfort is knowing God is for me. And while I certainly don't like to suffer, I know he has a plan for it. God is for you too! The Bible says: For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them but has listened to their cries for help. Psalm 22:24.

Tip # 2 - Change Positions

My disease comes with musculoskeletal pain so sitting or standing in one place for too long is difficult for me. Making a conscious effort to change positions at least once an hour is a must, but I admit sometimes it's hard to do, especially at the movies or in church. So give yourself permission to fidget away!

Tip # 3 - Distract Yourself

Distractibility isn't usually considered a positive trait, but it's an essential skill to learn for pain sufferers. We can use healthy and fun distractions to take our minds off ourselves - heck, we need to take our minds off ourselves. So go to the movies, shoot pool or take a walk in the park. 

Tip # 4  - Take Care

Take time for self care! Caring for yourself is not selfish, it's imperative. Naps, soothing baths, massage, eating right and exercising are critical to good health.

Tip # 5  - Encourage Others

Suffering is all around us. The one benefit (if there is one) is that my eyes are opened to the suffering of others. I can now see the grimace on the face of the cashier standing for long hours. I'm more patient with the slow pace of the elderly woman ahead of me in line. I no longer judge people who can't lift, and bend and reach. I take time to sympathize, listen and pray for them. 

Suffering is not for wimps but through our weakness, God is strong.

Now you: Please share a coping tip that helps you get through the day!

Your words have supported those who were falling; you encouraged those with shaky knees. Job 4:4

Two new resources for pain sufferers

Look what I found!

I went to Barnes and Noble the other day and came across these two magazines so I bought them and wanted to give you a short preview.

The Pain Pathways magazine is geared toward patients and doctors and is a resource for their waiting rooms. However, it's chock full of information and has scads of great websites for chronic pain sufferers and their caregivers.

Stress and demands on caregivers are often overlooked, and as a caregiver myself I greatly appreciated reading something for us!

In addition, the back of the magazine has a resource guide for professional pain organizations and advocacy support groups for pain conditions caused by various cancers and too many disorders to count. I'd highly recommend snapping up this magazine wherever you can find it.

The Family Circle magazine contains one article on pain that didn't really surprise me as far as cures go. That's only because as a sick person, I've tried almost everything by now - except acupuncture. Because my disease is actually in the nerves of the skin, sticking needles in there is a no-no as far as I'm concerned.

The good news though is that chronic pain is getting some press so if you're suffering or have a loved one who is, these would be a great help.

Now you: Have you got any resources to share?

Love and Limitations: Jesus comforts in affliction

By Erika Rizkallah

I know in my last post I said something about embracing my limitations. Well, maybe embrace was too strong a word because at some point in the week I'm pretty sure I broke down and cried a little.

On the plus side, my condition comes with memory loss so I can't remember it very well.

I think instead of embracing my limitations, I'll just give them a pat on the shoulder for now. You know, like we do with those awkward people we don't really want to hug.

Also, I want to share something that happened this week. In my sorrow, Jesus comforted me. Days after my little meltdown I was lamenting about my inability to serve him like I used to. During my prayer talk, I was filled with a warm love. It didn't come from within me, but was aimed at me!

His acceptance and kindness rushed over me like a waterfall.

I felt in my soul, that he loved me simply because he created me.

                                   It's true for you as well!

He doesn't care that we're not well enough or strong enough to do things for him. He doesn't need us to do anything for him. If anyone knows about our suffering and affliction, it's Jesus. He is our healer and savior and gives of himself freely and generously.

My prayer for all of us this week is that we simply accept his gifts and enjoy his presence.
                              May you be filled with his peace ~ Erika

What season are you in?

By Erika Rizkallah

On Sundays, this space is reserved for God stories. As one of the redeemed, I'd like to share just some of the many things he's done in my life. I hope you'll be encouraged by them!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story - those he redeemed from the hand of the foe. Psalm 107:1-2

Have you ever felt like you're in a spiritual desert? Like you're not hearing or seeing God? I have . . . more times than I can count.

In these times, the most useful thing we can do, is search for the root cause. Just as when we're feeling physically ill, we naturally try to figure out what caused it:

   Could it be food poisoning?

   Was it that snotty baby we held in children's church? (God loves snotty babies).

    Am I allergic to something (or someone)?

I recently had this experience; I was as dry as the desert - not hearing from God at all, which is unusual.

I began looking for the root cause, asking him in prayer and receiving no answer. Until  I noticed something . . .

Lilies began appearing in my front yard. I didn't plant them and so I was surprised when they began to blooming in early spring. The lily is a spiritually significant flower for me because of this favorite Bible verse:

"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I (Jesus) tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!" Luke 12:27, 28

These verses and the ones before them, are about God's care and provision for his children. We're not to worry about meeting our own physical needs. Isn't that liberating?

I do have to consider the lilies and I don't have to worry about myself. Maybe this is my season of seeing God at work.

What season do you find yourself in?

What's your ONE thing?

By Erika Rizkallah

It's often difficult to feel productive when you live with chronic pain. The daily struggles of life become well . . . a daily struggle.

That means they're hard. For everybody. For us especially.

I've redefined success for me. I've also redefined productivity.

I wake up each morning and have quiet time with God. Then I ask myself this question:

What's the ONE thing I need to do in order to feel productive today?

Then I answer it. Sometimes, making dinner is my ONE thing. Sometimes it's sending out a few greeting cards, making something with my hands or grading a pile of papers.

Today my ONE thing is starting a new exercise program. Exercise is a must for people suffering with chronic pain. And it's hard because it hurts, but in the long run it helps.

So today, I will jump in my pool and SWIM. Even though it's cold. Even though my joints are going to kill me and I will mess up my hair.

I will do it.

Today's THE day!

Want to join me? What's your ONE thing?

My Favorite Fibro Drugs - # 4 and # 5

I'm tired of talking about meds and by now, I'm sure you're tired of hearing about them. So I've decided to wrap up the last two in one post.

The last two drugs I'm going to write about are (insert the name of the narcotic that works for you) and my absolute, hands down favorite:

Lyrica

Many doctors don't like to or won't prescribe narcotics, and if you get one of those, then switch doctors. There are days you'll be in agony and will need something to take the edge off - if that's even possible. A good doctor alleviates suffering and many primary care physicians are unskilled at or uncomfortable prescribing controlled substances.

That's what pain specialists are for. They're specially trained to alleviate suffering while they determine the source of it. Then they work hard to get you to the point where your pain is controlled by the appropriate medicine for your condition. People who don't use pain meds for secondary gain (aka to get high) don't get addicted to pain meds because it's going directly to the source of pain.

I LOVE LYRICA.

Lyrica is in a class by itself as far as I'm concerned. It's singularly the one, that's changed my quality of life....once the doctors got the dosage correct. At first, I was on a low dose - like 50 mg a day - and then I got fired by my doctor (thank God) and my amazing pain specialist increased it to 300 mg a day. And sometimes, I almost feel normal.

It took eight weeks of patience for it to really kick in and start working on my body, but the wait was worth it.

So there you go. Pain medication is covered for now on this blog, and we can move on to other things.

Please, please....more than anything, I don't want my pain to go to waste. If you think my blog may help ease someone else's suffering, then by all means share these posts!

Trying to find the right Fibromyalgia Drugs?

Sorry for the delay in posting. My family and I went to Israel and the Palestinian Territories to celebrate Easter. Depending on where we were, internet was spotty.

                                                                                              Damascus Gate, Israel

In my last post, I wrote about my favorite medications. Today, I’ll share the next one on my list in hope that it helps someone else struggling with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain.

My # 2 favorite drug is Cymbalta and it was the drug given with Amytriptiline.  It cut my pain in half in just ten days. I was dopey for a bit, but I knew it was a side effect, so I allowed myself time for my body to get used to it. 

I felt like a new woman for a few months, but it was short lived; the pain re-emerged and I was discouraged.

So why is it my # 2 favorite drug? Because it still worked, and it may be just the thing for other people, especially those who don't want to use heavier drugs. I still take Cymbalta once a day in addition to other meds.

Four months ago I feared I'd never be able to travel again because of pain, but medication allows me to have a better quality of life.

This is one of my favorite moments from the trip. I was about to go through the Damascus Gate when an Arabic woman stopped me and held out her camera. I thought she wanted me to take a picture of her, so I reached out to take it and she handed me her baby. I was her tourist attraction!

Six months ago I wouldn't have been able to hold that baby, so what a gift it was for me.

My purpose in writing about the benefits of medication, is to encourage you to keep pushing through the long hard days of waiting to see what works on your body.

                                                  God is with us in our struggle.

But as for me, afflicted and in pain - may your salvation, God, protect me.                              Psalm 69:29
                                                                                   He is faithful and wonderful!

Do you do drugs? I do!

A frequent comment I hear from Christian women who suffer from chronic pain is, "I refuse to take medicine."

 

                                                  And I wonder...What the heck?
But I ask, "Why?"

The top 5 responses include:

"It's not the Lord's way."

"I just refuse."

"Jesus calls us to suffer."

"I'm afraid of the side effects."

"My husband wouldn't understand."

Except for the last one about the husband, I used those same reasons myself. At first.
But after a year and a half of suffering, I changed my mind. Now...

I love drugs.

I love Jesus and I love medicine. I believe God created the scientists who created the medicine and I love them all!

                  And I'd like to share my drugs with you, but I can't - because that's illegal.

In the next few posts, I'll virtually share the ones that have helped me on the path of pain.

                                 Also, I'll give my answers to the 5 responses listed above.

# My 1 favorite drug is Amitrtriptyline aka Elavil.
One of the worst things about chronic pain is the inability to sleep. This drug gives me a good night's rest and I rarely wake up due to pain. As with most drugs, it has side effects, but I haven't experienced any in the six months I've been on it. It's an antidepressant too, so you get those benefits, if you suffer from depression.

"It's not the Lord's way." 
Poppycock. Healing was one of the many things Jesus did. Disease, illness and blindness were common problems in the ancient world and Jesus was a willing healer.
At sunset, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, he healed them. Luke 4:40
                             
I told you how I feel? What's your perspective on taking medicine?

Sharing Saturdays: Joy

But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control...Galatians 5:22-23

An ice storm just blew through our little coastal town and what havoc it wreaked! Southerners are not at all used to snow and cold weather. And this was far more. It rained ice. For several days. Most of us were holed up inside our houses with extra supplies. Even today (days after its departure) 6,000 people are still without power.
                                                 
                                                         How was your week?

As you may already know through experience, wet and cold weather is the worst. For me at least, it feels as if it's creeping directly into my muscle fiber in order to torture me. But what I really noticed was that as soon as the storm moved up the coast, the pain was reduced.

I've felt good for the past day or so, but today especially. I am filled with joy!

In my quiet time this morning, I thought about what I wanted to share with you on this particular Saturday. It's joy. Then I asked myself, Can I really share joy? The answer came back quickly...

                              Joy is meant to be shared.

Because I felt so good, I decided to spend time doing ONLY things I love to do. I was tempted to cram everything into the day, but obviously I couldn't. That's the other temptation: To "overdo" it.

So, I chose 3 of my favorite things:

                                                 I love to walk and take pictures - so I did.

                             

I love cappuccino - so I drank one. And then I drank another (but not right away).

I love antiques - so I went antiquing: Score! Score! Score!

I did all of these things in one of my favorite places - downtown Wilmington. I know. It's not top on the list for most people but you've got to love a town that doesn't judge a house by it's color.

I think the key to joy for those of us who suffer daily, is to make the most of every opportunity when it comes. And above all, don't forget to share it with others.

                                                                                              He is faithful and wonderful!

Sharing Saturdays: Creature Comforts

       "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." Psalm 119:50

Lately, I've been thinking about what comforts me and I've come up with some ordinary and unique things, so since today's Sharing Saturday, I'll share three of my comfort items with you!

This Christmas I asked for some soft Pajamas to soothe my painful skin and this is what I got...

Katya bought them for me but thought the pattern might be too much. I love them even though Dania and Sam said they were "embarrassing." All the more reason to wear them when their friends come over!

I love color. I love to color. I love colored pencils and to write the Psalms in color. Weird, I know, but somehow it soothes me.

And lastly, my favorite thing besides coffee and falafel....

Lily's chocolate. Lily's is made with Stevia (not sugar) so it's good for our bodies. If you're not already aware, sugar is an ingredient that can our bodies to produce an inflammatory response. Since we're learning that inflammation is a source of pain, this is a no no for those of us already suffering with it.

Fortunately, Lily's chocolate is a yes yes!

What's your favorite comfort item?

5 Lessons Learned on the Path of Pain

Pain sucks and it's also a great teacher, so I thought today I'd share the top 5 things I've learned on this dark path:

Life is a gift - Duh, right? This is common sense to most people and I'll admit to having the head knowledge, but not the right perspective. However, everything changes when you wake up (after hardly sleeping) and know that you'll struggle almost every minute of the day. Life is an active verb. I value every second of living now... especially the pain free ones!

Pain is everywhere - Before, I'd fly through my days with relative ease checking off things to do from my daily list. Now, I don't "fly." I step gingerly - oh so gingerly, through my daily tasks and my payoff is noticing. I notice that the cashier at Walmart isn't just cranky, she's grimacing. She goes about her tasks painfully too. I notice the old man, hunched over and shuffling down the long walk to his mailbox. I notice the tears threatening to burst from the nurse's eyes, and I know if I ask her how she's doing she'll say, "I'm just fine honey."

Life is too short for BS - This speaks for itself. I don't have energy for much BS, I have enough people shoveling it into my own life. Now I just throw it back and move on.

God is still wonderful - Every day I wake up and thank him for this awesome life and unwanted lesson. Jesus was the master of enduring pain. He mastered it. No one was more filled with grace through suffering. Every day I fail at mastering this, but he remains my teacher and most importantly, he won't give up on me.

Each day is fresh! - I used to be a futurist and a planner. I always looked at the next day, week or year and often had them planned out. I can't do this now. It's a hard habit to unlearn, but I'm working on it. It's a fresh way of thinking for me - this living as each moment unfolds. Each day brings us opportunities and trouble, but I know I can count on tomorrow to be fresh.

So what about you? What has your disease/syndrome/affliction taught you? I'd love to know!

Sharing Saturdays: Devotions for strength in suffering

Today I want to share one of my favorite devotionals with you. It's the classic, Streams in the Desert, by L.B. Cowman.

I bought this devotional years ago for a friend, who (after not reading it) promptly returned it to me. Hurt, I put it on a bookshelf and left it there for a year or so. Then, one day it occurred to me that maybe I should read it myself.

                                                           What a gift!

God knew I would need the words and encouragement in my own struggles and suffering.

I hope it ministers to you in the same way it does for me.

                                                                                         He is faithful and wonderful!

Sunday Psalms & Stories - Joy and Jesus Christ

An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people." Luke 2:10

I remember the year I bought this Christmas ornament with just three little letters on it. I remember it so vividly, because joy was absent and I was desperate. Each year when Christmas is over, I wrap it in tissue paper to protect and preserve it's pillowy promise. But never has this ornament had as much meaning to me as it does now. I was filled with happiness when I unwrapped it last week, because now I know joy isn't conditional or dependent upon me or my circumstances.

Joy is a gift of the Holy Spirit.

This year, amid all the pain, suffering and emotional turmoil, I also understand, through God's grace, that we can have joy in hardship. We're not alone. Many of God's people entered difficult circumstances with fear, confusion and uncertainty. Take a look:

Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, "The LORD did not appear to you?" Exodus 4:1

"Pardon me my lord, "Gideon replied, "but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manassah, and I am the least in my family." Judges 6:15

When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. Luke 1:12

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.  Luke 1:29

In these examples, God's servants were confronted with life changing opportunities and difficult tasks. They grappled with fear, wonder and uncertainty about the future. They also experienced his joy. Their stories have lasted through the generations and are reminders of God's timeless presence and promise of eternal life to us, his children. We have this promise through Jesus Christ.

We get to celebrate his birth and honor him with the same sense of wonder the shepherds had when God's heavenly host appeared in the desert sky 2,000 years ago. I pray you too will be filled with wonder and joy as you celebrate with your family. Merry Christmas!

                                                                          He is faithful and wonderful!

Sharing Saturdays: 3 gift ideas for pain sufferers

In one of my last posts, I said I wasn't worried about my naked Christmas tree. But my family couldn't take it any longer; we had to get the job done. So following my own advice, I had my son help, and for the first time in 20 years I didn't mess with the lights (at least not in front of anyone).

But I did decorate it and it's lovely!

But the exertion sent me into a flare and made me growly...

After three days of intense pain, I finally got out to do a little Christmas shopping. I bought a couple of necessary things for myself, which led me to these gift ideas for others:

This is the Kabooti and it's great for the booty! I'm serious. It helps take pressure off the spine and also the pelvic floor. I got mine at a medical supply company and it comes with a convenient handle.

The next is the Smushion - yes, seriously. This thing is so great, I'm using it right now under my knees. I took a picture of it with my own remote inside it. It also holds my phone and I can flip it around for a lap desk. I also bought one for my husband who suffers chronic pain and constantly uses my good pillows as foot props. It comes in a variety of colors and I'll bet our kids will steal them from us.

I found mine at Hallmark, but they're also at stores like Walmart and As Seen On TV. Here's their website link: http://smushion.com/.

The final gift idea is the cervical neck pillow. I was reluctant to get this because of how attached I was to my down pillow, but it has significantly reduced the pain in my neck.

Hopes these ideas help someone and I'm praying a pain free holiday for you!

Making Adjustments - 3 Ways to Help Yourself!

Anytime we begin a new season or experience life-changing circumstances, adjustments are required. Whether it's having a baby, sending a kid off to college or simply celebrating Christmas, there are things we need to do. It's the same with chronic pain or any other "thing" that causes suffering; we have to adjust accordingly. Listed below are the top three ways we can help ourselves (quickly):

Ask for help! This may seem like a no-brainer, but some women would rather die than ask for help. We live in a "do it yourself" culture and it makes us feel even more outcast and downcast when we can't do for ourselves. I'm one of the most stubborn people I know when it comes to this, but I've been practicing and you know what? My life and relationships are much healthier now that I've broken through this area of pride.

Take a nap! What? Yes, contrary to what others may say, naps aren't just for girls and old people (someone actually just said that to me). Short cat naps of 20 minutes can be just the thing to refresh us and gain hours in return. One time this summer I had to nap in the back seat of my truck just to get through a full day.

                                    A nap a day keeps the pain away! (not really).
             
Remove stress! Some people recommend reducing stress in our lives but I say we must  remove what we can - forever. I know it's easier said than done, but we're in control of our thought lives and have the ability to walk or hobble away from unhealthy things or people that create stress. And at the very least, we have the ability to change the way we react to these things.

By the way, I'm so not stressed out that my Christmas tree is naked except for the garden center flag on it. However, some of my family members are so they'll have to chip in and help me.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-8

Painfully Positive - Changing our perception of pain

As he was falling asleep last night, my 11-year old son, Sam, said, "Mom, do you have a motto?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You know. A motto. Like a saying for your life."

"Not really." I said.

He said, "I do. My motto is: I'm not afraid to die, but I am afraid to not live."

He was earnest about this and I praised him, though I know he borrowed someone else's quote. It was a quiet, yet weighty moment because he's been terrified of death for over a year. Last summer he was riding in a golf cart with his cousins and it flipped over on him, pinning him to the ground. It took two men to lift it off and apparently he had a near death experience.

He won't talk much about the accident, but it changed him. It changed his perception of life and death. Though his physical scarring is mostly gone, the memory of that day most certainly is not.

His question about about my motto (or lack thereof) re-kindled a prayer question I've been asking God a lot lately…
                     
                            What does it mean to be human?

I'd just read an article on chronic pain that stated that we Westerners - as in Americans - are the only people on earth who approach pain like we do most everything. We pop a pill and expect whatever ails us or slows us down to be instantly gone.

I find some truth in that. I do want to simply pop a pill and make the suffering disappear. The article went on to say that pain is a part of being human, and I thought,

         Well that sucks.

And then I thought about it again. My pain has also been positive. It sucks, but it isn't entirely bad. My pain and the prayer that comes with it has given me more compassion and daily teaches me patience. My pain has forced me to become gentler with others and more accepting of myself.

      And most importantly, it's drawn me closer to Jesus, the suffering servant.

Do you find that to be true? Are there positive things about your pain? I'd love to hear your story!

Two Powerful Enemies of Chronic Pain Sufferers

By now, it's widely known that there's a link between psychological stress and pain. In fact, in the treatment of many diseases and disorders, doctors advise us to "reduce our stress levels." I've been told to do this on more than one occasion, and I always think, That's a great idea doctor. Why don't you come live in my world and show me how it works?

For me, stress just IS.

I've simplified, decluttered, and reduced my activities as much as I can. If I did any more, I'd end up a hermit. But until someone takes away people, stress is going to stay. Because the source of my stress is people.

However, I learned a long time ago, that there are some things I can do. I can change myself and how I react to people. If you suffer chronic pain like I do,  two powerful enemies are...

                             
                                               People Pleasing and Perfectionism

It's hard to change these deeply ingrained characteristics, but it's the best thing for us. We can help ourselves emotionally, mentally and physically by getting rid of them. So how do you know if you're a perfectionist or people pleaser? Take note of what sets you off, freaks you out or frustrates you.

                     (Hint: Deep sighs, growls of frustration and snappy sassiness are good clues.)

Yesterday, I was at the optometrist with my daughter, Katya. During the eye exam, the doctor asked her to read the letters on the wall, she sputtered, grunted and sighed. The doctor told her to just, "do your best" while I snickered in the corner. Finally I stopped the doctor and told her she was dealing with a perfectionist. Then I snapped a picture...

So, if you can't stand bombing an eye exam and you need to say, "yes" to everyone at the expense of yourself, you may be aiding your true enemy. 

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Psalm 13:2

                 So tell me...are you a people pleaser, perfectionist or both?

                                                                                              He is faithful and wonderful!

Tracking Pain Triggers

We chronic pain sufferers are (for the most part) tuned into our bodies. However, we can spend so much time protecting ourselves and trying to prevent pain, that we neglect to identify our triggers. Knowing what triggers a flare, is important to self care and increases the quality of our life.

According to the Mayo Clinic's website, "symptoms can begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress." Sometimes, there's no reason at all, symptoms simply accumulate over time. 

               My body was perfectly positioned for devastation. 

I'd had a hysterectomy, chronic recurrent sinus infections, serious psychological stress and a minor car "incident" in the course of two years. But it was the car incident that sparked the disease.
                         
Paying attention to our bodies is critical for understanding what causes pain flares. This requires us to slow down and listen to what our body is trying to say. It's easier said than done, but I'll share some of my triggers and hope it helps you. I set myself up for a flare whenever I....

             Carry or lift anything over 8 pounds
             Sit too long
             Crane my neck
             Carry a purse on my shoulder
             Do too much
             Run or jump*
             Allow stress to take over
             Hunch my shoulders
             
             And so far, the most surprising trigger is...a sunny day.

                                                                                                        photo courtesy Dania Rizkallah

I actually feel better on cloudy and rainy days!

Do you know what your triggers are? If not, try tracking your pain level and activities for seven days and see if you get a spark.
                                                                       He is faithful and wonderful!