Chronic Illness: Are you walking in the storm alone?

Right now Tropical Storm Ana, the first named storm of the year, is barreling toward the Southeast coast. It's headed right for my area. In fact, Joe Cantore of The Weather Channel is reporting from one of our beaches, and you know if he's here . . .

In Christianity the term "the storms of life" is common and as I prepared our home - tipping over chairs, securing anything that could become a projectile, etc. - I thought of how it relates to living with a chronic illness.

Do you ever think of your illness as a storm of life? Is it like a slow moving hurricane or a deadly tornado strike? However we think of it, one thing is certain - it leaves behind a destruction of sorts.

The destruction of dreams and plans is one thing, but as so often happens, an extended illness can devastate our families and quality of life.

Matters are made worse when we have an invisible disability such as Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Lyme Disease and others. How many times have you heard people say, "Well you look fine to me." or "You're just using this as a way to get attention."

Ouch! Sometimes this hurts worse than the disease itself.

If that's been your experience, a group like Invisible Disabilities Association (IDA) can be a lifeline. I stumbled upon it while writing an article for another publication. I promptly became a member. They offer encouragement, education and even have a social media program that allows us to connect with others - it's kind of like Facebook.

What a relief it is to hear other people's stories and participate in discussions with those folks who really "get us."

Storms come in and out of our lives, but disease can last forever. I don't mean to sound discouraging, this is just reality.  Coming to healthy acceptance helps prevent emotional devastation. I DO want to encourage you to reach out to IDA or another support organization that meets your needs.

It's not safe to walk in a storm alone.

Now you:  If your disease were a storm, how would you describe it?      

When the storms of life come, the wicked are whirled away, but the godly have a lasting foundation.
                                                                                                                     Proverbs 10:25

One amazing God: A story of heavenly help

By Erika Rizkallah

But for you who fear my name, the Sun of righteousness will arrive with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture. Malachi 4:2

God never ceases to amaze me.

Yesterday afternoon I had my first reflexology massage by Kathy, my amazing massage therapist. Fibromyalgia and my condition, Small Fiber Neuropathy, causes pain to move around in my body. Don't get me wrong, it's always present but somehow it has a mind of its own. This week it's been in my back and feet.

Sometimes I can't find words to describe what it feels like, but imagine having a migraine in your feet and your back at the same time. It's hard to function, especially for a mother. I'm always on my feet, but this time the pain won out.  For part of the week I could only sit or lay down. Such a bummer.

Kathy thought I should try reflexology to see if it helped.

So there I was in her studio. Soft lighting and soothing spa music put me in a relaxed state. My feet were bathed in a warm water bath - you know, the kind with soothing vibration - which had fragrant and healing essential oils added.

Then I hopped up on to the table and she began the treatment. In about fifteen minutes, my back pain ramped up. Burning. Searing. Tears streamed down my face as I gave in to a good (silent) cry and oh how I prayed. I begged God for help over and over as I tried to talk myself off of the metaphorical ledge.
   

I've often heard women suffering from Fibro say they've actually prayed to die. I understand and sympathize. Unrelenting suffering can cause depression and feelings of hopelessness.

But here's the amazing part, all of a sudden, I felt a cooling sensation. Like a cold compress was being pressed onto my back, exactly in the spot that burned. I told Kathy and we both praised God out loud. It lasted the entire length of my massage and gently faded away on the drive home.

                          Jesus heals.

I am so grateful to belong to a God who hears and cares about each one of us.

I hope you feel encouraged to pray - pray with all your heart - when you need God's comfort.

Your turn: Do you have any miraculous stories of comfort or healing?

Saturday: Slowly by Slowly

By Erika Rizkallah

For several years my church has been helping the people of Lagutu, Uganda rebuild and restore their village which was ravaged by the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army).  In this incredible human tragedy, thousands of parents were slaughtered. Their captured children were forced to fight as soldiers by the rebel invaders.

Progress and healing is slow but the Ugandans have a popular saying:

                                  Slowly by slowly...

Slowly by slowly - in its own time or in God's timing - things will get done.

Living with Small Fiber Neuropathy , chronic pain and Fibromyalgia has forced me to change my pace. And the way I think . . .  about everything.

I've decided that this year, I will adopt the Slowly by Slowly motto for myself. Instead of despairing or being perpetually frustrated, I will embrace my limitations. I will consider it a gift from God that keeps me grounded and present in each moment.

And I will take pictures of my progress along the way because my illness robs me of memory. Slowly by slowly, my children will grow and mature and things that matter to me will get done. These small accomplishments will remind me that, oh yeah . . . I did do that!

So here are my first small Saturday: SbS pics for this day on January 17th -

Tidying up my little porch area

Bringing life (hopefully) to some weather beaten pansies

Your Turn: Do you have your own Slowly by Slowly accomplishments to tackle?

No Pain No Gain

By Erika Rizkallah

Last week, I lived out a ten year old dream of mine; I went hiking in Sedona, Arizona. I started hiking as a teenager and never stopped. Of course back then, when I went on a "hike with friends" it was usually to hang out and smoke in the woods.

I stopped smoking long ago, but never lost my love of nature. The more outdoor time I get, the better I feel inside.

Usually, the last thing we want to do when we live with chronic pain is exercise. Sometimes it hurts just thinking about it.

But it's what we need most.

                                                          All of my children ran ahead except for "the good one" - she stayed with me.

I prepared for this trip by buying a good pair of hiking shoes and pricey orthotics. I admit to being a little afraid I might hike myself into a flare. If you look in the upper right hand corner of the picture, you'll see the "pointy" formation we were hiking to.

I didn't realize it'd be so steep and rocky, but as I yelled out to my kids on the way up...

YOLO!

Note: A great way to embarrass your kids is to yell Yolo at the top of your lungs in an echoey canyon.

I made it to the top of the flat part of the formation - sweaty and proud of myself. The view was worth it.

My kids however, couldn't wait to get to the pointy top part so they ran ahead of me (again). It would have been a beautiful family moment if it weren't for me yelling at them to all come down. Of course they said,

                                                                 "YOLO mom. YOLO!"


I still made them come down. BTW - My son is the only one wearing an honest expression - girls are always posing.

We may have to live with chronic pain but we don't have to let it kill our joy or keep us from living the full life God wants us to live.

Click the link to read about the benefits of hiking and in the meantime . . . keep on following your dreams!

Help for Myofascial & pelvic pain - Take control of your body!

Today I want to talk about something that's changed my life . . . physical therapy.

For those of us suffering from myofascial pain, such as Fibromyalgia or Myofascial Pain Syndrome, physical therapy can be a game-changer.

I recently went to a physical therapy appointment for my daughter, who's also a chronic pain sufferer. During the health history part of the exam, the therapist asked her a flurry of questions related to different parts of her body. At one point, my daughter and I got confused about a question and when I asked for clarity she busted this thing out...

(Hint: If you're a dude this might be a good time for you to jump out of this conversation.)

This a model of a woman's pelvic floor "area". (I had no idea they had things like this.)

My child was mortified, but I was fascinated.

She gave us a mini anatomy lesson using this model and we learned that a woman's pelvic floor has three types of muscles that all work together. (The model has moveable parts!) I learned so much in that session - so much I should have learned way before I decided to have children.

She then went on to ask more questions like: "Do you ever leak urine when you laugh, cry or sneeze?"
                            My daughter's response: "Ooh no! That's disgusting!"

Several more minutes of questioning went on and each time my daughter answered, "No." I was silently answering "yes." That's when I decided to make an appointment for myself.

Now I go twice a week and the therapists have taught me things I never knew about my body. They are also helping me with Pilates and core strengthening exercises.

It feels good to be in control of my health and body.

If you want to try physical therapy, just request a referral from your doctor and make sure it's for a therapist who specializes in women's issues. I just learned that some insurance companies will pay for massage therapy if you have a referral from your doctor. I'm totally checking that out!

Here's a link for women in Wilmington, but if you live somewhere else just do a Google search using the terms found on this site. Good luck and happy strengthening!

Physical Therapy For Women, Wilmington

Has your doctor put you in limbo? Being a patient takes patience

By Erika Rizkallah

Last week I followed up with my neurologist to get the final results from a three-part testing process I went through.

He called me into his office to let me know that my diagnosis is Small Polyfiber Neuropathy, which boils down to this: it hurts to have skin.

Technically it's a nerve disease in the small fibers of the body and there is no cure. Most people have it in the feet and legs but I have it all over. Most people are diabetic or overweight and can improve the pain through lifestyle change, but I'm neither diabetic nor overweight.

My case is considered idiopathic which boils down to this: They are clueless.

So my doctor put me in limbo for six months in the hope that The Mayo Clinic, The Cleveland Clinic or George Washington University would discover the cause. Obviously someone's been doing their research. The bad news for patients like me is that it takes about 10 years of research and clinical trials before any medicine can be prescribed.

So I'm in limbo. My doctor said, "Do you understand what I mean by limbo?" And I said, "yes."
Later I wondered why on earth do I understand limbo? Because it's not an actual place, it's a state of indecision. So I looked it up and it's also a theology, movie, dance and game that people play at parties.

But only young girls are successful, because older people break their backs playing this silly game. My clumsy family has never made it under the limbo stick, no matter how many times we try.

Why am I putting the name of my disease out there? It's been discovered that women with my condition and those that suffer from "pins and needles" or "ants running up arms and legs" often get diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

At any rate, the sensations ARE NOT NORMAL, so if you suffer from them, get to the doctor and see if they can find an underlying cause before more damage is done.

And take heart. Technological advances are making medications safer so that we can have a better quality of life.
                                                           Being a patient takes patience.

The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

                                                                                                  Ecclesiastes 7:8
                         

Cherishing Joy Each Day

Dear Friends,

Please excuse my long absence. As you may know from my last post, I'm in the midst of a dry season and seemingly endless computer problems. Medication adjustments make me feel wonky and sitting down to blog is difficult. On more than one occasion I've fallen asleep while typing - actually that's kind of funny. What's not funny is my inability to latch on to a thought before it disappears. However, I'm learning to let go and...

 I cherish the joy in the moments of each day. 

On Sundays I usually post a God story, but my brain's so foggy, it wouldn't benefit you. Instead, I hope you'll enjoy one of my favorite pictures from the Holy Sepulchre Church in Jerusalem. This is an enormous mosaic of tiny tiles and it's an astounding piece of art.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.

Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.

                         Psalm 25:16-18

A prayer: Heavenly Father, we know you are good upon good and your love never fails us. Teach us your ways Lord, give us strength to endure and bless our weakened bodies. We know your power is made perfect in weakness. We love you and we praise you in Jesus' name. Amen.

One of these days!

That went well.

The swimming I mean. On days one and two, I started by doing two laps using the breaststroke. I felt so good in the morning, so able. I was sore, but it was that kind of "good sore" you feel after exercising.

And so of course since I felt good with two laps, why not double it? Why not indeed!

I was on a roll, feeling proud and then, dunh dunh DUNH (how do you write that sound effect?) I swam myself into a flare.

Not smart. Not smart indeed!

To top it off, my computer went kaput in the middle of a manuscript. I paid $ 180.00 to have the hard drive replaced and it broke eight hours later. Then my husband was certain he was having a heart attack (he wasn't) and had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance . . . AGAIN.

Have you ever had one of those weeks? Like you're in that old movie, Groundhog Day.

Me too. And this morning I had to remind myself of what these days look like from God's perspective. In the light of eternity, days like these are like a baby's first birthday party - unmemorable and super messy.

When I get to Heaven, I'm going to laugh about them. For now, I'll just stay in my chair, not working on my computer.

I need a good laugh, so can you tell me about one of your worst days?

What's your ONE thing?

By Erika Rizkallah

It's often difficult to feel productive when you live with chronic pain. The daily struggles of life become well . . . a daily struggle.

That means they're hard. For everybody. For us especially.

I've redefined success for me. I've also redefined productivity.

I wake up each morning and have quiet time with God. Then I ask myself this question:

What's the ONE thing I need to do in order to feel productive today?

Then I answer it. Sometimes, making dinner is my ONE thing. Sometimes it's sending out a few greeting cards, making something with my hands or grading a pile of papers.

Today my ONE thing is starting a new exercise program. Exercise is a must for people suffering with chronic pain. And it's hard because it hurts, but in the long run it helps.

So today, I will jump in my pool and SWIM. Even though it's cold. Even though my joints are going to kill me and I will mess up my hair.

I will do it.

Today's THE day!

Want to join me? What's your ONE thing?

Can you laugh at yourself?

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." E.E. Cummings

Yesterday was a funny day, in more ways than one. Sometimes my brain gets a little wonky and I forget things. It happens so often these days that I've learned to laugh at myself. The other option is to feel stupid and beat myself up emotionally, but self-abuse is not my thing.

                                                                     So I laugh.

As you may know, I'm at a writer's conference. Yesterday was my big day for appointments and I had meetings with two agents and an editor. This is a big deal in the conference world, and one of the main benefits of going. I made sure I had everything I needed and looked my best because you never get a second chance to make a good first impression right?

I was walking down a big hill to breakfast with my friend Andy when she made a comment about how comfortable her shoes were. That got me thinking about how comfortable my shoes were so I looked down . . .

and realized I was wearing my house slippers, not the cute little flats I'd set out. Andy and I laughed so hard that I had to ask her to stop. Otherwise, I'd pee my pants - bladder control is another symptom this nasty disease affects.

Later that day, I went to two appointments and forgot the third. This means I totally blew off an editor and I'll probably never be able to write for her publication.

                                                                  All I can do is laugh.

Can you laugh at yourself?

Laughter can be healing and contagious. I try to find at least one video a day that makes me chuckle, but the best ones cause belly aches and incontinence.

According to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, surgeons used humor to distract patients from pain as early as the 13th century. More recently, studies have revealed that laughter reduces pain, decreases stress related hormones and helps boost the immune system.

How about you? Do you have ways to distract yourself from pain or create laughter?

The God Who Sees Us

By Erika Rizkallah

...You are the God who sees me,  for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." Genesis 16:13

Do you ever feel like God's forgotten about you or afflicted you?

I have to admit that sometimes I do. When I wake up stiff, sore and utterly unrested, I groan and whine, "Why?"

Today was one of those mornings. I'm in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains attending a Christian writer's conference. The six hour drive was exhausting, even though my friend, Andy, drove me.
             
                        Now, as I write, it feels like I'm on fire, even though it's cold here.

Fire. In the Old Testament, God is often represented by fire, but really . . . I don't want to feel like the fire is on me.

In the scripture above, the "she" is Hagar. Hagar is the Egyptian maidservant of Sarai, the wife of Abram.  Sarai desperately wanted a family but she couldn't conceive. In those times, women were the chief family builders. Sarai was old and God hadn't given her any children, so she decided to build her family through Hagar. She gave Hagar to Abram as his new wife and told him to sleep with her. Abram doesn't argue (although he should have) and Hagar gets pregnant, and a little haughty.

Now, Sarai doesn't like this, so she blames Abram, complains to him and then physically abuses Hagar.
                                                     Poor Hagar.

She didn't ask to be in that terrible situation. She didn't ask to be a slave, pushed into a sexual union or be physically abused, so she ran away, into the desert. That's where God's angel finds her and speaks to her.
                                                     He says, "...the Lord has heard of your misery." (v.11)

Hagar responds, "You are the God who sees me. I have now seen the One who sees me."

It does us no good to question God and ask "Why?" He has a plan and the why may never be known to us on this side of Heaven. The one thing we can be sure of is that He's heard of our misery and He'll love us through it.

 I'm praying for us today. God had big plans for Hagar and he's got big plans for us too!

Reducing Inflammation and Pain

When it comes to living with chronic pain, one of the hardest things for me is changing my diet.

I have an incredible sweet tooth; it's a cake tooth really. I've been making cakes weekly since I was a teenager. Cake is my favorite food group.

I also don't have much of an appetite. . . except when it comes to cake.

So you see, I have a real problem. But there's no such thing as Cakeaholics Anonymous. I've had to invest in a few books and cookbooks so I can learn about healthy, gluten free living. However, seeing how I just remembered that I ate pancakes for breakfast, let me assure you that I'm still in the learning phase.

The thing most often repeated in these books is that pain is caused by inflammation. If you can get the inflammation down, there will be less pain (or so I've heard).

One of my favorite cookbooks for recipes as well as educational value, is Julie Daniluk's: Meals That Heal Inflammation.

It's great to have resources like this. Ones that encourage and help us persevere in our race to better health.

What about you? Do you have any resources that would encourage others? Please share!

Think you may have Restless Leg Syndrome?

Earlier this afternoon, I had a skin biopsy done. My neurologist is testing to see if I have SFN or Small Fiber Neuropathy. I mention this because he explained that many women diagnosed with Fibromyalgia actually have SFN. Misdiagnosis is common.

Like Fibromyalgia, SFN symptoms also include tingling, numbness and pain. However, SFN can only be diagnosed with specialized testing. Test number two (the one I had today)  involves "just a small needle poke"to numb the surface and, according to the brochure, "a band-aid" after the procedure is done.

                                                                                       Two out of the three "band-aids."
They also said it wouldn't hurt afterward.  Lies...all lies.

The funny thing, is that this all started because of restless legs. For the past five years I've struggled with jumpy legs, but a couple of months ago they started doing funny things when I went to bed. They began to twitch and lift up on their own. So I went to my doctor and told him. That's when he referred me to a neurologist.

Do you have "jumpy" or "twitchy" legs?

Do you think you have Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS)?

                              Are you embarrassed by this?

If so, I urge you be brave and make an appointment to talk to your doctor about it. There are good medicines for RLS, but you don't want to leave any stone unturned when it comes to your health. And you definitely don't want to be a self-diagnoser like me and miss something.

Technology is improving medicine every day, but it's up to us to push through the painful trials and persevere.

I'll be praying for you as you walk/hobble/crawl on your path of pain.

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:4

Trying to find the right Fibromyalgia Drugs?

Sorry for the delay in posting. My family and I went to Israel and the Palestinian Territories to celebrate Easter. Depending on where we were, internet was spotty.

                                                                                              Damascus Gate, Israel

In my last post, I wrote about my favorite medications. Today, I’ll share the next one on my list in hope that it helps someone else struggling with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain.

My # 2 favorite drug is Cymbalta and it was the drug given with Amytriptiline.  It cut my pain in half in just ten days. I was dopey for a bit, but I knew it was a side effect, so I allowed myself time for my body to get used to it. 

I felt like a new woman for a few months, but it was short lived; the pain re-emerged and I was discouraged.

So why is it my # 2 favorite drug? Because it still worked, and it may be just the thing for other people, especially those who don't want to use heavier drugs. I still take Cymbalta once a day in addition to other meds.

Four months ago I feared I'd never be able to travel again because of pain, but medication allows me to have a better quality of life.

This is one of my favorite moments from the trip. I was about to go through the Damascus Gate when an Arabic woman stopped me and held out her camera. I thought she wanted me to take a picture of her, so I reached out to take it and she handed me her baby. I was her tourist attraction!

Six months ago I wouldn't have been able to hold that baby, so what a gift it was for me.

My purpose in writing about the benefits of medication, is to encourage you to keep pushing through the long hard days of waiting to see what works on your body.

                                                  God is with us in our struggle.

But as for me, afflicted and in pain - may your salvation, God, protect me.                              Psalm 69:29
                                                                                   He is faithful and wonderful!

Do you do drugs? I do!

A frequent comment I hear from Christian women who suffer from chronic pain is, "I refuse to take medicine."

 

                                                  And I wonder...What the heck?
But I ask, "Why?"

The top 5 responses include:

"It's not the Lord's way."

"I just refuse."

"Jesus calls us to suffer."

"I'm afraid of the side effects."

"My husband wouldn't understand."

Except for the last one about the husband, I used those same reasons myself. At first.
But after a year and a half of suffering, I changed my mind. Now...

I love drugs.

I love Jesus and I love medicine. I believe God created the scientists who created the medicine and I love them all!

                  And I'd like to share my drugs with you, but I can't - because that's illegal.

In the next few posts, I'll virtually share the ones that have helped me on the path of pain.

                                 Also, I'll give my answers to the 5 responses listed above.

# My 1 favorite drug is Amitrtriptyline aka Elavil.
One of the worst things about chronic pain is the inability to sleep. This drug gives me a good night's rest and I rarely wake up due to pain. As with most drugs, it has side effects, but I haven't experienced any in the six months I've been on it. It's an antidepressant too, so you get those benefits, if you suffer from depression.

"It's not the Lord's way." 
Poppycock. Healing was one of the many things Jesus did. Disease, illness and blindness were common problems in the ancient world and Jesus was a willing healer.
At sunset, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, he healed them. Luke 4:40
                             
I told you how I feel? What's your perspective on taking medicine?

Sunday Stories: Is it flare worthy?

On Sundays, this space is reserved for God stories. As one of the redeemed, I'd like to share just some of the many things he's done in my life. I hope you'll be encouraged by them!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story - those he redeemed from the hand of the foe. Psalm 107:1-2

One of the things Fibromyalgia sufferers know well is the phrase:

                                                   Good days and bad days

Those "good days" are days to savor. I'm fully alive and like a glutton, I want to gulp as much goodness as I possibly can.

I believe we sufferers are more aware of what personally makes a day good or bad. We have to intentionally pace ourselves and think: Is this really worth it to me?

                    Is it flare worthy?

Good for you if you don't know what a flare is! Long story short, flare = agony. Most times we can accurately assess them, but there are days when plans go awry.

                                             And there are some days God dreams up for us.

I had one of those days last year, and if I knew at that time that I had a disease, I would never have done this...

                             On the outside I'm smiling, but inside I'm really praying they don't bite my face.

My husband, who planned this whole adventure, was in more pain than I was that day and I had to take his place in the water with our kids. I didn't want to.

                                   You see, I am terrified of large fish. Absolutely terrified.

Even seeing them in aquariums gives me the willies. In three of the snorkeling trips my hubby has thoughtfully planned for my daughters, I've had to take his place TWICE. On this trip, I wasn't even planning to go, but I changed my mind at the last minute.

It's never been my dream to swim with dolphins. I certainly never thought I'd stand on them.

It was incredible.

In these pics, I'm screaming, "Oh my God!" at the top of my lungs. I completely embarrassed my kids.

No doubt about it. This was flare worthy.

Do you have any flare worthy God stories to share? If so, I'd love to hear them.

                                                                                He is wonderful and faithful!

Resurrect the good gifts of life.

A couple weeks ago I wrote about some ways God comforted me and I challenged you to think about and see the ways God comforts you.

And then - as often happens when I open my big mouth about something - I couldn't think of anything else comforting me.

Except Jesus of course.

When in doubt, the answer is always Jesus. Or Baby Jesus.

                                                                              This is not the real Jesus.

But seriously...for like 10 days I couldn't think of anything, and I started to feel like a fraud.

Then I got to feeling a little nutty thinking about comfort all the time. Because honestly, shouldn't my thought life be a little higher?

After all, how often do we hear: "God doesn't care about your comfort, he cares about your character?"

Then I felt like my character was somehow lacking. Geesh!

And I also felt like God was challenging me to really think about it. So I did, and do you know what I discovered?
                                          Creativity gives me comfort. (I'd forgotten that.)

I'm not an artist, but I'd always been crafty creative and I let that passion of mine die for loftier pursuits. So I tried resurrecting it. I got out my old craft and scrapbooking supplies and started slapping some pages together.

Holy Moses. Am I having fun!

The Bible says: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Our God offers us so many gifts - so many good and positive things - to counteract the negativity that comes with chronic pain. I encourage you to discover, or rediscover an old passion and resurrect it.

See what happens and let me know how it encourages you.
                                                                                             
                                                                                  He is faithful and wonderful!

Sharing Comfort

by Erika Rizkallah

In today's post, I wanted to share a couple of ways God comforted me these past few days:

1.  He offered me physical comfort.

I opened those bubble wrapped "big guns" I mentioned in my last post and inside was an
awesome surprise. It was a prescription for a pain killing cream that works REALLY
well. The downside is that I smell like a tube of wintergreen toothpaste. But hey, if it
reduces pain I'm not going to complain.

2.  He offered me mental comfort.

I am a homeschooler. As you can imagine, homeschooling while in pain is extremely difficult.

Almost every single day I wake up and wonder... am I doing a good job?

          Is anyone learning?

                  Is this still the best thing for my kids?

                           Can I really keep doing this?

But I gave God my worries right? Even though I knew the national testing proctor was coming to our home to administer tests to the kids on Friday.

                                 What was I thinking? I was so far from ready...

I also have to tell you that I homeschool four kids - three are mine. Two of them have ADHD, one's learning disabled (LD) and one's gifted.

I'm thrilled to say that all of the kids are moving forward. Not only that, they're over grade level and one of them moved up four grade levels in less than a year's time.

                                                   That's all God.

But I did celebrate with a whole lot of ice cream!

                                           Can you see the ways God comforts you?

   

A Healthy Gluten Free Breakfast

One of the things that's changed, since I've been diagnosed, is my eating.

If you haven't noticed, our culture is seriously food centered. It's been my experience that when someone becomes ill for no obvious reason, other people think the real culprit is the food we're eating.

Some of the "advice" I've gotten is:

       *  You should try Paleo.

     *  Only buy organic.

     *  Remove all gluten, dairy and processed foods. 

     *  Sugar is the real enemy!

     *  Have you been tested for food allergies?

Honestly, I've taken most of it to heart and after over eight months, haven't come away any better. What I do know however, is that I'm seriously lactose intolerant. Good to know.

 As we make the shift from eating processed foods to healthy alternatives, it's easy to become confused.

It's also super freaking expensive!

There are thousands of products to choose from, but the one thing they seem to have in common is that they cost more. I decided that since I've redone my entire pantry, the least I can do is share some of the best products I've found and save you time and money.

For the last six months, I've been experimenting with gluten free products and the one I'm sharing today is my go-to favorite for a protein filled breakfast:

It lives up to its claim of "cooks in 3 minutes," and has a nice texture and flavor. I dress mine up with cinnamon, organic maple syrup, bananas and pecans.

Got a favorite healthy breakfast you'd like to share? I'd love to hear about it!

Don't Give Up On Your Dreams

Do you have a dream that compels you so strongly you wonder if you have the option not to pursue it?                                

                                      That's how I feel about writing.

I began writing when I was six. I was compelled.

I wrote a poem with some first grade friends, and that's when I decided to be a writer...and an Egyptologist and marine biologist, (until I realized I was terrified of fish).

I got my first paycheck at the ripe old age of nine. I received $ 35.00 from a woman's magazine for a tip I wrote on how to iron a sharp crease in a pair of pants.  For someone who wasn't even allowed to hold an iron, it was better than Christmas.  I was hooked!

The writing life is lonely though. Sometimes I pull out that old poem as a reminder that I didn't choose writing; writing chose me, and it's hard. And what happens just when I feel like I'm starting to get in the groove?
                       
                                  Fibromyalgia comes along and threatens everything.

Have you ever had your dream threatened? That's when we need to run in the opposite direction - we need to run toward the dream.

For me, that meant attending a writer's conference in Florida. It meant that I needed to embrace the tension and not allow myself to sink into a pit of discouragement. Even though I had to wake up at 3:30 AM, carry heavy luggage and spend seven hours in the orlando airport...

my dreams are worth it.
                                                        And so are yours.

Living with pain can make us feel alone, but it doesn't have to rob us of our dreams.

So what do you dream about?

                                                       How can I pray for you?