Does our suffering draw us closer to Christ?

By Erika Rizkallah

This morning in my quiet time readings, I was led once again to passages in the Bible about suffering.  

Do you ever ask, "Why me?" 

I do and the plain answer is I don't know and maybe I never will. Strangely, I'm ok with that. If we spend too much time reflecting about the internal and external reasons for it, we can find ourselves in the midst of an epic pity party.

This can turn all our thoughts inward as opposed to better questions like What can I do with this Lord? How do I glorify you with it?

In the Greek language the word for suffering is pascho, which also means endure. It's a verb and is used 42 times in the New Testament. The short answer in both the Old and New Testaments is that suffering improves character.

I love how Oswald Chambers approaches the subject in the devotional My Utmost For His Highest.

He says, "How can we say, 'It could never be God's will for me to be sick'? If it was God's will to bruise His own Son (Isaiah 53:10), why shouldn't he bruise you? What shines forth and reveals God in your life is not your relative consistency to an idea of what a saint should be, but your genuine, living relationship with Jesus Christ, and your unrestrained devotion to Him whether you are well or sick."

How do you feel about that? Can you identify ways in which your suffering has improved your character or drawn you closer to Christ?

Trials and tests: God's crown of victory for the afflicted

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

Are you under a trial right now? Do you realize that God is testing you through it?

Standing the test is not easy - heck, some days it even seems downright impossible. Those of us living with chronic pain know the struggle well. We face days of isolation, loss of friendships and the roiling emotions that come with it. Some days, we struggle just to get out of bed.

But my friends, our struggle is not without gain. Look at the promise God's made to us if we remain firm in our faith.

We get a crown. Not just any old crown, but the crown of life!

Our Lord Jesus, was given a crown of thorns by a mob of brutal Roman soldiers right before he was crucified. In ancient days thorns symbolized a curse, but the crown is a symbol of power and victory. These men, in their attempt to mock and humiliate, unwittingly bestowed a great honor upon him.

And this is the type of crown we will receive when we've stood firm in our time of testing. Oh, we may not see it in this life, but we can be certain we'll receive it.

Why?

Because God has promised it to us and our sovereign king always keeps his promises.

So stand firm lovely ones because our blessing is on the way!

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:12, 13

Chronic Illness: Are you walking in the storm alone?

Right now Tropical Storm Ana, the first named storm of the year, is barreling toward the Southeast coast. It's headed right for my area. In fact, Joe Cantore of The Weather Channel is reporting from one of our beaches, and you know if he's here . . .

In Christianity the term "the storms of life" is common and as I prepared our home - tipping over chairs, securing anything that could become a projectile, etc. - I thought of how it relates to living with a chronic illness.

Do you ever think of your illness as a storm of life? Is it like a slow moving hurricane or a deadly tornado strike? However we think of it, one thing is certain - it leaves behind a destruction of sorts.

The destruction of dreams and plans is one thing, but as so often happens, an extended illness can devastate our families and quality of life.

Matters are made worse when we have an invisible disability such as Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Lyme Disease and others. How many times have you heard people say, "Well you look fine to me." or "You're just using this as a way to get attention."

Ouch! Sometimes this hurts worse than the disease itself.

If that's been your experience, a group like Invisible Disabilities Association (IDA) can be a lifeline. I stumbled upon it while writing an article for another publication. I promptly became a member. They offer encouragement, education and even have a social media program that allows us to connect with others - it's kind of like Facebook.

What a relief it is to hear other people's stories and participate in discussions with those folks who really "get us."

Storms come in and out of our lives, but disease can last forever. I don't mean to sound discouraging, this is just reality.  Coming to healthy acceptance helps prevent emotional devastation. I DO want to encourage you to reach out to IDA or another support organization that meets your needs.

It's not safe to walk in a storm alone.

Now you:  If your disease were a storm, how would you describe it?      

When the storms of life come, the wicked are whirled away, but the godly have a lasting foundation.
                                                                                                                     Proverbs 10:25

Love and Limitations: Jesus comforts in affliction

By Erika Rizkallah

I know in my last post I said something about embracing my limitations. Well, maybe embrace was too strong a word because at some point in the week I'm pretty sure I broke down and cried a little.

On the plus side, my condition comes with memory loss so I can't remember it very well.

I think instead of embracing my limitations, I'll just give them a pat on the shoulder for now. You know, like we do with those awkward people we don't really want to hug.

Also, I want to share something that happened this week. In my sorrow, Jesus comforted me. Days after my little meltdown I was lamenting about my inability to serve him like I used to. During my prayer talk, I was filled with a warm love. It didn't come from within me, but was aimed at me!

His acceptance and kindness rushed over me like a waterfall.

I felt in my soul, that he loved me simply because he created me.

                                   It's true for you as well!

He doesn't care that we're not well enough or strong enough to do things for him. He doesn't need us to do anything for him. If anyone knows about our suffering and affliction, it's Jesus. He is our healer and savior and gives of himself freely and generously.

My prayer for all of us this week is that we simply accept his gifts and enjoy his presence.
                              May you be filled with his peace ~ Erika

Cherishing Joy Each Day

Dear Friends,

Please excuse my long absence. As you may know from my last post, I'm in the midst of a dry season and seemingly endless computer problems. Medication adjustments make me feel wonky and sitting down to blog is difficult. On more than one occasion I've fallen asleep while typing - actually that's kind of funny. What's not funny is my inability to latch on to a thought before it disappears. However, I'm learning to let go and...

 I cherish the joy in the moments of each day. 

On Sundays I usually post a God story, but my brain's so foggy, it wouldn't benefit you. Instead, I hope you'll enjoy one of my favorite pictures from the Holy Sepulchre Church in Jerusalem. This is an enormous mosaic of tiny tiles and it's an astounding piece of art.

Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.

Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.

                         Psalm 25:16-18

A prayer: Heavenly Father, we know you are good upon good and your love never fails us. Teach us your ways Lord, give us strength to endure and bless our weakened bodies. We know your power is made perfect in weakness. We love you and we praise you in Jesus' name. Amen.

What's your ONE thing?

By Erika Rizkallah

It's often difficult to feel productive when you live with chronic pain. The daily struggles of life become well . . . a daily struggle.

That means they're hard. For everybody. For us especially.

I've redefined success for me. I've also redefined productivity.

I wake up each morning and have quiet time with God. Then I ask myself this question:

What's the ONE thing I need to do in order to feel productive today?

Then I answer it. Sometimes, making dinner is my ONE thing. Sometimes it's sending out a few greeting cards, making something with my hands or grading a pile of papers.

Today my ONE thing is starting a new exercise program. Exercise is a must for people suffering with chronic pain. And it's hard because it hurts, but in the long run it helps.

So today, I will jump in my pool and SWIM. Even though it's cold. Even though my joints are going to kill me and I will mess up my hair.

I will do it.

Today's THE day!

Want to join me? What's your ONE thing?

The God Who Sees Us

By Erika Rizkallah

...You are the God who sees me,  for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me." Genesis 16:13

Do you ever feel like God's forgotten about you or afflicted you?

I have to admit that sometimes I do. When I wake up stiff, sore and utterly unrested, I groan and whine, "Why?"

Today was one of those mornings. I'm in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains attending a Christian writer's conference. The six hour drive was exhausting, even though my friend, Andy, drove me.
             
                        Now, as I write, it feels like I'm on fire, even though it's cold here.

Fire. In the Old Testament, God is often represented by fire, but really . . . I don't want to feel like the fire is on me.

In the scripture above, the "she" is Hagar. Hagar is the Egyptian maidservant of Sarai, the wife of Abram.  Sarai desperately wanted a family but she couldn't conceive. In those times, women were the chief family builders. Sarai was old and God hadn't given her any children, so she decided to build her family through Hagar. She gave Hagar to Abram as his new wife and told him to sleep with her. Abram doesn't argue (although he should have) and Hagar gets pregnant, and a little haughty.

Now, Sarai doesn't like this, so she blames Abram, complains to him and then physically abuses Hagar.
                                                     Poor Hagar.

She didn't ask to be in that terrible situation. She didn't ask to be a slave, pushed into a sexual union or be physically abused, so she ran away, into the desert. That's where God's angel finds her and speaks to her.
                                                     He says, "...the Lord has heard of your misery." (v.11)

Hagar responds, "You are the God who sees me. I have now seen the One who sees me."

It does us no good to question God and ask "Why?" He has a plan and the why may never be known to us on this side of Heaven. The one thing we can be sure of is that He's heard of our misery and He'll love us through it.

 I'm praying for us today. God had big plans for Hagar and he's got big plans for us too!

My Favorite Fibro Drugs - # 4 and # 5

I'm tired of talking about meds and by now, I'm sure you're tired of hearing about them. So I've decided to wrap up the last two in one post.

The last two drugs I'm going to write about are (insert the name of the narcotic that works for you) and my absolute, hands down favorite:

Lyrica

Many doctors don't like to or won't prescribe narcotics, and if you get one of those, then switch doctors. There are days you'll be in agony and will need something to take the edge off - if that's even possible. A good doctor alleviates suffering and many primary care physicians are unskilled at or uncomfortable prescribing controlled substances.

That's what pain specialists are for. They're specially trained to alleviate suffering while they determine the source of it. Then they work hard to get you to the point where your pain is controlled by the appropriate medicine for your condition. People who don't use pain meds for secondary gain (aka to get high) don't get addicted to pain meds because it's going directly to the source of pain.

I LOVE LYRICA.

Lyrica is in a class by itself as far as I'm concerned. It's singularly the one, that's changed my quality of life....once the doctors got the dosage correct. At first, I was on a low dose - like 50 mg a day - and then I got fired by my doctor (thank God) and my amazing pain specialist increased it to 300 mg a day. And sometimes, I almost feel normal.

It took eight weeks of patience for it to really kick in and start working on my body, but the wait was worth it.

So there you go. Pain medication is covered for now on this blog, and we can move on to other things.

Please, please....more than anything, I don't want my pain to go to waste. If you think my blog may help ease someone else's suffering, then by all means share these posts!

Trying to find the right Fibromyalgia Drugs?

Sorry for the delay in posting. My family and I went to Israel and the Palestinian Territories to celebrate Easter. Depending on where we were, internet was spotty.

                                                                                              Damascus Gate, Israel

In my last post, I wrote about my favorite medications. Today, I’ll share the next one on my list in hope that it helps someone else struggling with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain.

My # 2 favorite drug is Cymbalta and it was the drug given with Amytriptiline.  It cut my pain in half in just ten days. I was dopey for a bit, but I knew it was a side effect, so I allowed myself time for my body to get used to it. 

I felt like a new woman for a few months, but it was short lived; the pain re-emerged and I was discouraged.

So why is it my # 2 favorite drug? Because it still worked, and it may be just the thing for other people, especially those who don't want to use heavier drugs. I still take Cymbalta once a day in addition to other meds.

Four months ago I feared I'd never be able to travel again because of pain, but medication allows me to have a better quality of life.

This is one of my favorite moments from the trip. I was about to go through the Damascus Gate when an Arabic woman stopped me and held out her camera. I thought she wanted me to take a picture of her, so I reached out to take it and she handed me her baby. I was her tourist attraction!

Six months ago I wouldn't have been able to hold that baby, so what a gift it was for me.

My purpose in writing about the benefits of medication, is to encourage you to keep pushing through the long hard days of waiting to see what works on your body.

                                                  God is with us in our struggle.

But as for me, afflicted and in pain - may your salvation, God, protect me.                              Psalm 69:29
                                                                                   He is faithful and wonderful!

Do You Celebrate The Small Things?

"C'mon baby," I said, furiously pumping my arms. I took a deep breath and straightened up for a moment, trying to ease the searing pain in my back and arms.

I bent over and tried again. Pump, pump, pump.

My CPR training kicked in; I regathered my strength and went at it for what seemed like the hundredth time.

No luck. I stood up and cursed it, "Stupid toilet!"

Out of breath and frustrated, I leaned against the bathroom wall for a minute. I'd been trying to clear a clog in the girl's bathroom for the better part of the day. The girls had been unable to fix it and after awhile, my mind started to mess with me.

      Remember when you used to be able to do this with no problem?

           Remember when you used to run, jump and dance any time you wanted?

                 Remember when...

Remembering when is dangerous territory for me. As soon as I recognize these words of self-pity roaming around my mind, I shut them down, turn them off and kill them if I have to.

I turned my attention back to the toilet but before I started, I prayed: "Please Lord. I need your help. We can do this."
                            Pump. Pump. Pump. Again and three more times and...  flush.

I did a little dance, hobbled downstairs to Katya and said, "Success! I have just unclogged your toilet. You're Welcome!" and then I wiggled a little more. Katya said, "Wow mom. You're acting like that was a big victory."

Any victory turns into big things for Fibro Warriors. Celebrating keeps our spirits up and I think it also gives God a little smile.

                                         Do you have any victories of your own to share?

Sharing Saturdays: 3 gift ideas for pain sufferers

In one of my last posts, I said I wasn't worried about my naked Christmas tree. But my family couldn't take it any longer; we had to get the job done. So following my own advice, I had my son help, and for the first time in 20 years I didn't mess with the lights (at least not in front of anyone).

But I did decorate it and it's lovely!

But the exertion sent me into a flare and made me growly...

After three days of intense pain, I finally got out to do a little Christmas shopping. I bought a couple of necessary things for myself, which led me to these gift ideas for others:

This is the Kabooti and it's great for the booty! I'm serious. It helps take pressure off the spine and also the pelvic floor. I got mine at a medical supply company and it comes with a convenient handle.

The next is the Smushion - yes, seriously. This thing is so great, I'm using it right now under my knees. I took a picture of it with my own remote inside it. It also holds my phone and I can flip it around for a lap desk. I also bought one for my husband who suffers chronic pain and constantly uses my good pillows as foot props. It comes in a variety of colors and I'll bet our kids will steal them from us.

I found mine at Hallmark, but they're also at stores like Walmart and As Seen On TV. Here's their website link: http://smushion.com/.

The final gift idea is the cervical neck pillow. I was reluctant to get this because of how attached I was to my down pillow, but it has significantly reduced the pain in my neck.

Hopes these ideas help someone and I'm praying a pain free holiday for you!

Making Adjustments - 3 Ways to Help Yourself!

Anytime we begin a new season or experience life-changing circumstances, adjustments are required. Whether it's having a baby, sending a kid off to college or simply celebrating Christmas, there are things we need to do. It's the same with chronic pain or any other "thing" that causes suffering; we have to adjust accordingly. Listed below are the top three ways we can help ourselves (quickly):

Ask for help! This may seem like a no-brainer, but some women would rather die than ask for help. We live in a "do it yourself" culture and it makes us feel even more outcast and downcast when we can't do for ourselves. I'm one of the most stubborn people I know when it comes to this, but I've been practicing and you know what? My life and relationships are much healthier now that I've broken through this area of pride.

Take a nap! What? Yes, contrary to what others may say, naps aren't just for girls and old people (someone actually just said that to me). Short cat naps of 20 minutes can be just the thing to refresh us and gain hours in return. One time this summer I had to nap in the back seat of my truck just to get through a full day.

                                    A nap a day keeps the pain away! (not really).
             
Remove stress! Some people recommend reducing stress in our lives but I say we must  remove what we can - forever. I know it's easier said than done, but we're in control of our thought lives and have the ability to walk or hobble away from unhealthy things or people that create stress. And at the very least, we have the ability to change the way we react to these things.

By the way, I'm so not stressed out that my Christmas tree is naked except for the garden center flag on it. However, some of my family members are so they'll have to chip in and help me.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-8

Weird Word Wednesday - # 2 (Suffering)

Well of all things, it turns out that I must have been writing the last post about temptation by the enemy for myself.

A few short hours after I wrote it, I experienced a great trial. I can't be specific because its not just my story, but it's bad. As I look back on it now, in the light of day and through the filter of Christ, I can see that I found my way out.

I choose to trust in Jesus' strength and power -

Even though I am weak and weary, He is not.

I thought about the temptations I was presented with during the crisis.
The temptation to...

    be angry with God about an unanswered prayer for safety.
 
          sin against someone I love with defeating and insensitive words.

               be rude and surly to people who were trying to help me.

                    cast judgement on something I don't fully understand.

                         cease praying.

                             turn my back on God.

                                  wallow in fear and defeat.

                                       keep my "mouth" shut and not write about it.

Yes, all those things are strong temptations, but I'll take Paul's advice and resist the enemy.

How we resist is wrapped up in our Weird Word for the day:

                            pathema = means suffering, affliction, misfortune.

God allows this type of suffering for a purpose and I'd be willing to say that almost always He's the only one who knows why. This is what the New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology says about it:

"Christ's vicarious suffering does not mean for his followers, however, deliverance from earthly suffering but deliverance for earthly suffering. He has suffered and been tempted as we are (Heb 2:18), yet he was without sin; indeed, since Christ has shared in all his people's experiences, he is able as the exalted one to "sympathize with their weaknesses". His suffering was a test that he was called on to undergo and in which he learned obedience (5:8). Having been tested by suffering, he is our pattern and example (1 Peter 2:21). His suffering requires us as his followers to walk a similar path (Heb 13:12-13; 1 Peter 2:21).       New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology, Verlyn D. Verbrugge

We maintain our hope and trust in God by faithfully enduring the hardship of suffering.

      I pray The Lord will give you strength in your suffering.

                                                                                        He is faithful and wonderful.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Affliction

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Joyful in hope...yes!

   Patient in affliction...ugh!

      Faithful in prayer...ok.

I find it hard to be patient in affliction, especially when everyone in my family is afflicted. Yes, officially every one of us. We all have a condition that needs to be managed and guess who's the manager?

As we draw more blood and send off more biohazardous samples to yet another lab, I lean on God's word and cry. Yes, cry! Jesus wept and I weep a lot because I'm so dang tired of caregiving when I'm sick myself.

You know what else we found out when we were at the doctor's office? It's good to cry. Really, really good. In fact, she prescribed it, because if we don't, our cortisol (stress hormone) levels rise and do terrible things to our bodies. So whenever I feel stressed out by all these trips to the doctor, I cry.

I also have joyful hope because God sent us to the right physician for help. Two weeks ago, my 17-year old daughter, Dania, was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. Her blood count's at a chronic level which means she's probably had it for several years. It is a missing piece of the depression puzzle so for that I'm eternally grateful.

I'd greatly appreciate your prayers...
           especially for patience and perseverance during these trials.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

Affliction

Af.flic.tion: Something that causes pain or suffering.

I feel like I may have worried some of my friends with my last Pity-Party post, so I'm going to use this post to explain more fully:)

I guess my family and I are under a period of "affliction." 

For well over a year now, each of us has been having random accidents, illness, physical injury, irritants, mental problems. Even my dog's been affected. Normally, I'm a "suck it up" person. I just suck it up and deal with whatever it is. But after this long you start to think REALLY?

              Is this ever going to end?

Are we ever going to sleep again? Because I don't even remember what that feels like.

Then the devil gets in and starts saying things like, "Nope. It's never, ever, going to end. EVER. This is how the rest of your life will stay." "You'll be in pain forever."

I know my God is bigger, but I admit that I 'd started to believe those voices in my head.

There is an upside to this though. Many upsides in fact, but the main one is growth. So that I don't remain in the pit part of the pity, I'm going to fight back in the way I know best.

With patience and praise.

I thank you God that you are trustworthy and true. I praise your holiness and your purpose in all things.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Heartsick

If there's one thing I've learned in the last year, it's this:

Life is sacred

For the past 24 hours I've been on a silent retreat of sorts. It's a discipline I used to exercise regularly, but I'd gotten out of the habit  - for no good reason. I've spent much of the last day in quiet reflection, just listening to the Lord to speak into my soul. His voice is magnified and the words of others are drowned out.

I'd highly recommend it because the noise of this world is really loud.

             Criticism
 
                   Cynicism

                        Comparison

                             Condemnation

All this noise has made my heart sick. I've spent the past few months in a place of grief and mourning, but something in my spirit feels different today.

Thank God, I feel different. My family's been afflicted for a full year, but I think this is the message God's trying to send:

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;

   your walls are ever before me.

Your children hasten back,

   and those who laid you waste depart from you.

                          Isaiah 49:16-17

I praise you Father, and I AM believing this.