in·grain

verb (used with object)

1.

to implant or fix deeply and firmly, as in the nature or mind.

Do you think it's possible for something from your childhood to be so deeply ingrained in your psyche that it changes the nature of your entire being?

As I think about some of my habits - good and bad - one common thread runs through all of them.

     Time has a hold on me. A freaky, and very powerful hold.

It's this feeling that I'm running out of time, or that I'm going to miss something really important... so I'd better hurry up. As I thought about it and asked God what my problem was, one distinct image popped into my mind.

                                                       The White Rabbit!

When I was a little girl, and we were late, (and now I'm thinking that was probably often) my dad would repeat this little chant from Alice in Wonderland:

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date. No time to say hello. Goodbye! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"

We said that rhyme CONSTANTLY, and when my kids were little, I'd repeat it to them while I rushed from here to there. Isn't that amazing? Could I really be that heavily influenced by Lewis Carroll's book turned cartoon?

I think I've nailed down one of my biggest hindrances to being, or at least feeling productive. In Romans 12:2, Paul says, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." (NLT)

I often repeat this verse and sink it in my mind like a mantra, but I don't think I've ever really allowed God to change my way of thinking about it. I asked Him to do so today and do you know what?

   It's more ingrained than I imagined. I found myself saying, "I don't have time for that." to my kids and "Hurry up. You're making us late." It's going to be difficult to change my speech and thought patterns, but worth it to release me from this negative thought habit and to know I won't pass it on to my kids.

                                           I'm not afraid of difficult.

I'm not late. I'm not late. I'm not late!

What negative thought habit is holding you back from learning God's pleasing and perfect will for your life?