Have you ever had a crisis of faith?
My definition of a crisis of faith is when God gives you an assignment or calls you to a task and you're not confident you can do it.
I'm having one now.
About six months ago, two of my children began having real problems in public school. Then, Katya, my 8th grader, flat out told me she wasn't going to high school because she didn't want to be tempted by drugs, sex or alcohol. She asked me to homeschool her.
What do you say to that? "Sorry honey, I can't. Sucks for you!"
We happened to be sitting together in Barnes & Noble at the time. When I explained that I couldn't possibly homeschool her because she was smarter than me, she walked away. She came back five minutes later and slapped this book in my lap:
I laughed, but she was serious.
I prayed about it - hard. It's one of those things I said I'd never be able to do because I didn't have the desire or the patience. God confirmed that this is the path I need to take.
Just a note - Don't ever tell God what you'll never do.
A lot happened in that six months and we've had many challenges since then. We've learned that my two other children, Dania and Sam, the ones who were having problems, have a form of Auditory Processing Disorder. I'm still learning about it and trying to wrap my head around what it means for us. Basically it has to do with the way sound travels through the ear and how it affects comprehension. It makes it difficult for my kids to learn in noisy environments.
We never had problems before because the kids were educated in a Montessori school with a smaller and quiet classroom environment. But now that the classes are getting bigger and the work is harder...
Anyway, that's what's causing my crisis of faith. The time is here and I've only got a couple of months to prepare for this new adventure in our lives. I haven't a clue about where this will take us or how it will affect their futures, but I have faith that God will equip and lead me to teach them in the best way.
I'm like the blind men that came to Jesus:
As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!"
When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?"
"Yes Lord," they replied.
Then he touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith will it be done to you"; and their sight was restored." Jesus warned them sternly, "See that no one knows about this." But they went out and spread the news about him all over that region." Matthew 9:27-31
Jesus never turned down the requests of those who came to him and he still doesn't.
Dear Jesus, thank you in advance for equipping us to do what you ask us to do. May you always get the credit for your power! Amen.