I'm a quitter!

All this talking and mindfulness of bad habits has made me feel....normal. I don't think I struggle with perfection, but I AM notoriously hard on myself. Oddly, I feel better talking with people about bad habits and learning I'm not the only one.

Also, I realize I need to contrast the bad habits with the good ones I've cultivated over the years. Otherwise, I just sound completely pitiful. So here's to the bad habits I've done away with and the good one's I've added...


**********
I quit biting my nails: I had quite a habit of this when I was a kid and into my teens. It was so bad that my mom used to paint my fingers with Sally Hansen's Nail Biter formula, which tasted like dangerous chemicals and probably was. Unfortunately, I grew to like the taste of the chemicals too.

I quit cursing: My language was as salty as a sailor at one time. In my world, the F-word was a verb sprinkled liberally over everything.

I stopped lying: Did you know that lying is a normal reflex and that the average person lies 56 times a day or at least twice in each ten minute conversation? In children, lying is actually a sign of cognitive development, but guess where they pick it up? From their parents:)

I broke the lying habit about ten years ago and was extremely proud of this, but recently have picked it up again in one area, which leads me to the next habit I quit.

I stopped cheating: I used to cheat A LOT and I was super good at it. I gave that up ten years ago as well, but picked it up again this year because I am a slow learner.

I learned that in public schools (at least here) you can sometimes get punished for telling the truth. I'm pulling my kids out of public school next year, so that will take care of that!

I QUIT smoking: I was a lifelong smoker and just celebrated my 11th year of being smoke free!!!!

I quit drinking: I've been sober for five and a half years. I wasn't an alcoholic and didn't have any problems with it (except for those times I lost all my inhibition and, in a fit of rage, told my husband what I really thought of him...oops).  I just knew God had a better life planned for me.

They say, nature doesn't like a vacuum and that's true! When you quit a bad habit, you have to fill it with something good, so here are the good habits I've cultivated over time.

I wake up before everyone else every day.
I spend quiet time with God every day.
I'm thankful on purpose, every day.
I make my bed every day.
I take a shower every day. You're welcome.
My house is clutter free
My house is clean. Sometimes it's messy...but never, ever, filthy.
I encourage my family every day.
I eat healthfully.
I love myself as well as others.

I think I'll celebrate a little.

In all seriousness though, bad habits are a part of life. My dog gave me the perfect illustration of this yesterday. He's addicted to writing instruments - pens, pencils, markers....you name it. He's so bad he raids my purse to get them.

I've tried to retrain him by giving him chew toys instead. In fact, yesterday, I gave him the clear choice.

His choice?

Today my son pointed out that Titan not only made the wrong choice - he made the worst choice. He picked the cheap pencil over the more expensive brand name one.

Praying you make the best choice in your habits today!

Changing Bad Habits

I've chosen the top 3 bad habits to focus on right now based on how attacking one bad habit can often fix other issues with minimal effort. My top 3 are:

1. Lack of exercise - When I exercise, I get more energy for the day, I last longer and am much less cranky. I also pay better attention to what I eat. Frankly, the main reason I become unproductive is because I'm exhausted and I run out of energy.

2. Procrastination - It's easy to make excuses when you're exhausted, but procrastination is only prolonging the inevitable for me. If there's a menial task to be done, more than likely it's my responsibility so I'm only hurting myself by piling up loads of boring things if I don't just get over with quickly.

3. Not giving myself the luxury of time - God is the author of my life, and the author of my time, so I don't know why I feel like I have to learn everything immediately. Maybe it's related to the piles undone things that taunt me, like my piles of photos saying, "Really? You can't even send these pictures to your poor sick grandmother?" Which is probably because my son can never find his socks and shoes and my husband always wants to wear the shirt I haven't gotten around to washing.

An interesting thing I learned simply by being mindful over the last few days, is that these bad habits are caused by underlying issues. God really hit me over the head with the fact that I have an underlying fear of wasting time. Both my brother and I have this unexplained concern. We both believed we wouldn't live past 30. We have no idea where these thought patterns come from, but had I not taken the time to identify my bad habits, I wouldn't have realized the effect it's having on me.

Every time I tried to get something done, a little voice in my head would say something like, "You don't have time for that." or "That's a waste of time." I realize I've been letting that voice influence the choices I make throughout the day.

That's how the enemy works. He puts a phrase, negative comment, or totally irrational thought into your head and tries to get you to own it. Only when I slowed, and quieted down to listen, did I realize the effect it's been having on me.

I have placed a "Non-Negotiable" boundary around myself regarding giving these items attention.  Honestly, trying it already for only a day, has made me more focused than I have been in months. Here's my commitment to myself -

Exercise:  Cardio for one hour 4 days a week and strength training with my trainer 2 days a week.

Procrastination:  It doesn't exist in my world anymore. Nothing gets delayed. My husband has this philosophy and I used to just think he was a super freak, but his success has proven me wrong time and time again.

Time: No fear. I will plan my day accordingly and build in the hours I need in order to learn and do the things I need to learn and do and I will stop listening to "the voice."

I'm pumped! I worked out with my trainer for an hour yesterday, thinking I was going to die of a heart attack the whole time, but I pushed through...to the point of nausea. I almost puked and thought about taking a picture to show you what I looked like but then you may never come back to read. Instead, I'll leave you with a picture of my pretty pink gloves!

While I was punching and kicking my way to pukeville, I kept saying, "This is for you Jesus!" I sincerely, felt His pleasure.

Oliver Wendall Holmes said, "We all need an education in the obvious." The Bible tells us to examine ourselves closely. I urge you to take a look at your own bad habits and create a plan of attack!

Unproductive Habits

Ok...here it is, my complete list of all of the habits that make me unproductive (or less productive). As a side not: This does note include the list of things that make me feel guilty, but now I realize that they are related. That list will be next:)

Lack of daily exercise
Frequently I don't want to communicate with others
Procrastinating on tasks I find boring or difficult
Letting others (esp. my husband) change my scheduled plans
Not clearly coordinating or communicating my schedule to my husband
Not checking bank accounts daily
Not asserting myself aggressively when opportunity arises (i.e. I can be too polite)
Taking myself too seriously
Taking others too seriously
Not following up on relational e-mails in a timely fashion (I hate Google stacking)
Not following up with Unstuck e-mails urgently (I hate Google stacking)
Not setting work related goals high enough to be challenging
Getting distracted by other people's problems
Using too many journals/notebooks (I have a pretty paper addiction)
Not giving myself time to learn difficult tasks (persistence)
Forgetting people's names (this is new)
Not fixing broken things in a timely manner
Impulsively switching between projects
Not writing every day
Not setting writing goals
Not checking in enough with extended family
Being lazy about marketing
Keeping piles of photos out in the open (irritant)
Not checking e-mail every day
Delaying critical/important conversations
Inconsistency in listmaking
Not giving myself the luxury of time (for too many things to list)
Buying cards and not sending them out (I like cards:))

So there you have it! Tonight, I'll pick the top three to four that mess me up the most and outline my action plan about correcting them. Planning is half the battle here, the other half is following through.

The best part about this exercise is that I spent the last 3 days in a state of mindfulness, which oddly gave me clearer insight into how much other people's productivity levels negatively affect my own. More to come on that!

Focus

Oh my gosh, I'm in the middle of the best exercise ever! You should try it - It will make you laugh and feel like crap at the same time. That's not the point of it....to laugh and feel like crap. The point is to  take the time to identify all of your bad habits or things that keep you from being productive.

I'm reading a book called the Power of Focus: This is a book I started reading in 2008 and because I lacked focus, I never finished it. One of the things I did do however, was get to the chapter about identifying your bad habits. I underlined them. Most of them were work related and were solved after I quit my job. However, I now see that while those are gone, a whole host of others cropped up and some have remained the same.

The exercise is awesome and the author(s) advise at least an hour to complete the process. Here are some of the ones listed in the book to spark ideas of your own:

*  Not returning phone calls on time

*  Being late for meetings and appointments.

*  Poor communication between colleagues and staff.

*  A lack of clarity about expected outcomes, monthly targets, goals, etc.

*  Handling the mail more than once.

*  Allowing bills to go unpaid, resulting in interest penalties.

*  Talking instead of listening.

*  Forgetting someone's name sixty seconds (or less) after being introduced.

*  Hitting the snooze alarm several times in the morning before getting out of bed.

*  Working long days with no exercise or regular breaks.

*  Not spending enough time with your children.

*  Eating at irregular times of the day.

*  Leaving home in the morning without hugging your wife, husband, children and/or       dog.

*  Making reservations at the last minute (restaurant, travel plans, theatre, concerts).

*  Not following through on time as promised, with other people's requests.

*  Not taking enough time off for fun and family - guilt free!

*  Having your cell phone on all the time.

*  Procrastinating on everything.

*  Controlling every decision, especially the small stuff you need to let go of!

Those are just some of the suggestions. There are only 26 items on their list and I'm still writing mine down; I have way more than 26.

I'm a hot mess! And yes, switching impulsively from one task to the next, without finishing the first keeps me unproductive, but I'm just starting this book again...four years later.

Can you say PROCRASTINATION.

I believe in full disclosure though and if my foolishness helps you out, then I'm happy to oblige. My full list will be out on Monday's post. Try this exercise and tell me how many you have so I'll feel ok about myself, ok?